if you give a mouse a poshmark

if you give a mouse a poshmark she’s going to stop buying clothes because she realizes she’s GOT TOO MANY.

if she’s got too many her children will give her bags of their clothes because they’ve realized that THEY’VE GOT TOO MANY.

if they’ve got too many their dad will see what we’re doing and clean out his t-shirt drawer and those will go on poshmark too.

wrapped packages on chair

and the mouse will see that so many of the things she’s sending back out into the world are things she gave as gifts that didn’t have a ton of thought behind them other than just to BE GIFTS. People like picking out their own clothes!

which has made this Christmas shopping season an interesting one. I’ve been very deliberate, which in the face of Black Friday and Cyber Monday and every frantic, shiny, email in between has actually been really difficult. And maybe not 100% successful – I did buy a couple of things from Old Navy that could end up getting returned. But in the grand scheme of things I’m pleased with how this year and our relationship to THINGS has gone.

I wanted a new Christmas Tree – a 9 footer to put in the corner by my staircase but I read the piece going around about ‘the life-changing magic of making do‘ and while I found some of it to be a bit shamey, and excessive (I don’t believe in extremes other than where Disney is involved, it is a long-term side effect of having been in a cult, extreme behavior is bad),  the point hit home that I have a TOTALLY DECENT and still useable tree.

So – booooo on that.

And because BOTH of my children are pursuing degrees in environmentally related fields, and because there is enough damn plastic in the world, and because I’ve watched the horror videos about Yiwu in China, where 60% of the world’s christmas decorations are made, I’m going to repaint the ornaments I wanted to replace.

So – booooo on that too. or yay, because I love a creative project.

And because of their environmentalism and a desire to stop putting literal tons of single use garbage into the earth I’m not buying any more sweater boxes to wrap presents with. And I’m using up my old wrapping paper because even the thought of THAT is stressing me out.

neon signage
Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

So – yes, a mouse with anxiety and children and a planet she cares about is going to have to start using recyclable wrapping paper – or fabric! I could learn to quilt…

if you give a mouse a poshmark she’s going to learn to quilt.

yellow measuring tool lot
Photo by Adonyi Gábor on Pexels.com

 

 




 

holidaying my feelings – why is there so much crap in my house? edition

treeatnight
we decorated EARLY this year and I’m not sorry.

It’s weird to get to a place where you don’t want anything. but I don’t. I don’t want a single thing. I have EVERYTHING I need. I have MORE THAN I NEED.  I am getting rid of things at a steady pace.

part of the particular nature/nurture strain of anxiety/depression that I inherited from my father leads to purging. I try to be very conscious of what I get rid of because I want to make sure I have art my kids made in kindergarten, or baby photos, or my husband’s letterman jacket. dad was a reckless purger so there are things from my childhood that I would have preferred to not end up in a dumpster while I was in college… like anything from my childhood. Ten points to the X-ers in charge of our entertainment, because I can at least have NEW things of whatever things I don’t have from my childhood. Jem? Good Luck Bear? A Vintage style My Little Pony? A fricking Zoom birthday record?! They exist again and I could have all of those things.

but I don’t want them.

hygge
tea, cake, making lists. some of my favorites.

so right, while the holidays approach, and Winter is Coming, and I really want to start getting my house renovated, and things are happening in my professional life that I can’t/haven’t told everyone about yet… I’m fucking stressed out. I’m also really fucking depressed. I said that out loud to myself in the car the other day. “I am really fucking depressed” and the moment of acknowledging my feelings for what they are… it helped. I mean, Wellbutrin helps more, but recognition is important.

and I need to get a dumpster which currently has me REALLY worried because I do want to get rid of every.fucking.thing. in my house.

I speak only for myself and my own experiences with depression but if I had to make a list of things I “want” or “need” for Christmas right now they would include: socks, a throw blanket or four, a magically clean kitchen and front hallway unaccompanied by the sounds of angry cleaning, new toss pillows for the couch, cake, dark curtains in my bedroom for naps, naps, for my house to smell like a Christmas tree, candles in every room, having the dining room table completely clear… chocolate. See’s or Phillip’s Candy House especially. The soft ones with fruity creme centers. Or a trip to Disney. But mostly I need Hygge.

Hygge-2

I want Hygge for Christmas.

xoxo