Midnight Margaritas were just the beginning

a little note on 8/28/2020. I wrote this January 25th 2019. thought I’d published it, hadn’t published it… like it. want it included in the record. still haven’t seen Birdbox, still have rose gold polish on my toes, still worry about what people who are not thinking of me think of me, still have all the furniture.

a friend of mine on facebook posted a meme with a quote from one of my favorite favorite movies– *Practical Magic*. I love this movie, I love pretty much everything Sandra Bullock does, I haven’t seen BirdBox yet, I’ve been by myself in a strange place on and off for the last 3 weeks so I’m trying to stay away from things that are scary until I’m back home.

so, right now I’m in Florida, in a sweet rented townhouse outside of Walt Disney World – we did the math- 29 nights at this house cost what 8.7 nights in a normal room at The Boardwalk would cost. I wasn’t sure how I was going to like staying off property but I LOVE IT. I even three favorites love it. I love anything that allows me to Disney for a month. plus, this house is GREAT.

the original idea behind this rental, and being here for this length of time, was to see if I could LIVE here. if I could see myself in this area for more than a long weekend, if I could work here, and find a spot for brunch, and what my relationship to Disney would be like. So yes, yes, yes, yes, and still awesome. I went to epcot for a couple of hours on Wednesday, today I really want a cinnamon roll and I need a pirate tee for gasparilla so Julie and I are going to the Magic Kingdom when I finally have my shit together, and there have been days where I haven’t felt like going to the parks – the best Target I’ve ever been in is down the street from me. Floridians are shitty drivers but I lived in Austin, and they drive like shit in Austin also. (I know, says the girl from Massachusetts)

PLUS – there’s a Chuy’s AND I heard yesterday that they’re putting in an Alamo Drafthouse. I just need my family here and then all of my favorite things in the world are right here.

So- 7 year plan to purchase a place here, something exactly like this condo. Two stories, multiple living spaces, GIANT KITCHEN ISLAND, tiny baby pool.

But Erin, aren’t you like 6 weeks from starting a whole new company in MA? Why yes, yes I am. And maybe I’m hoping that it kicks so much ass that in 10 years somebody wants to buy me out, or I can operate it from anywhere- even better!

none of this was the point though! Practical Magic was the point!

practicalmagic

so last night as I was walking around at epcot, wearing my awesome new Mickey Mouse Club varsity jacket – feeling a little silly for buying it – wondering if I’ll be able to wear it in MA, wondering if I made a mistake getting it – realizing I KINDA LOVE IT and that I wish I didn’t care as much what the fuck other people think of me.

and that is where I am right now, in 2019 I’m going to work on caring less about what the fuck other people think of me. ESPECIALLY people who don’t know me, and aren’t thinking of me anyways, they’re putting on me the weird issues they have about themselves, and I have my OWN ISSUES thankyouverymuch, I don’t need theirs, or yours, or really mine, but one thing at a time.

So. I love this jacket. when I was a kid I somehow managed to find reruns of The Mickey Mouse Club, and we didn’t really have TV so I thought that Annette and the gang were my contemporaries and OHMYGOD I wanted to be in the Mickey Mouse Club SO badly. and now I have this sweet sweet jacket. so, yay!

varsityjacket

and ok, it IS red, and I do wear black but it looks cute with black, and blue jeans, and I like it. so shut up, inner monologue. it sparks all the fuckin’ joy.

So there it is, I’mma look a fool in 2019 and I’m going to be happy and smile in pictures and paint my toenails black and I don’t give a shit what people think about that.

I’m ALSO going to start letting go of the things in my life that I didn’t choose to be there, 7 years ago I wrote a blog post about getting rid of family antiques guilt – and since then I seem to have acquired an entire house full of them! I didn’t buy any of my own furniture, it was in the house when I moved in and it was part of the package when we bought it last year… I love and miss my grandparents fiercely, and with the exception of their dining room table – for heart of the home, family meals and memories reasons – I don’t want their furniture! So if anyone out there has a collection of Hitchcock furniture and you’re missing any pieces, hit me up, I probably have them.

but for now, I have 15 days left in my mini-retirement, I need to go get stuff to make jello shots and I’m pretty sure there are Midnight Margaritas in my near future.

xoxo

holidaying my feelings – why is there so much crap in my house? edition

treeatnight — we decorated EARLY this year and I’m not sorry.

It’s weird to get to a place where you don’t want anything. but I don’t. I don’t want a single thing. I have EVERYTHING I need. I have MORE THAN I NEED. I am getting rid of things at a steady pace.

part of the particular nature/nurture strain of anxiety/depression that I inherited from my father leads to purging. I try to be very conscious of what I get rid of because I want to make sure I have art my kids made in kindergarten, or baby photos, or my husband’s letterman jacket. dad was a reckless purger so there are things from my childhood that I would have preferred to not end up in a dumpster while I was in college… like anything from my childhood. Ten points to the X-ers in charge of our entertainment, because I can at least have NEW things of whatever things I don’t have from my childhood. Jem? Good Luck Bear? A Vintage style My Little Pony? A fricking Zoom birthday record?! They exist again and I could have all of those things.

but I don’t want them.

hygge — tea, cake, making lists. some of my favorites.

so right, while the holidays approach, and Winter is Coming, and I really want to start getting my house renovated, and things are happening in my professional life that I can’t/haven’t told everyone about yet… I’m fucking stressed out. I’m also really fucking depressed. I said that out loud to myself in the car the other day. “I am really fucking depressed” and the moment of acknowledging my feelings for what they are… it helped. I mean, Wellbutrin helps more, but recognition is important.

and I need to get a dumpster which currently has me REALLY worried because I do want to get rid of every.fucking.thing. in my house.

I speak only for myself and my own experiences with depression but if I had to make a list of things I “want” or “need” for Christmas right now they would include: socks, a throw blanket or four, a magically clean kitchen and front hallway unaccompanied by the sounds of angry cleaning, new toss pillows for the couch, cake, dark curtains in my bedroom for naps, naps, for my house to smell like a Christmas tree, candles in every room, having the dining room table completely clear… chocolate. See’s or Phillip’s Candy House especially. The soft ones with fruity creme centers. Or a trip to Disney. But mostly I need Hygge.

Hygge-2

I want Hygge for Christmas.

xoxo

three favorites thursday – rainy, fall edition

I’ve been sick all week with a cold that doesn’t want to go away. I’m not ready for the Hygge posts yet but I’m feeling a little pre-winter hygge happening right now because all I want to do is read and sleep and hang out with Dave watching Great British Bake Off. #MaryBerryForever

number1

Rothy’s! (yup, it’s a referral link, you get $20 off your first order, I get $20 off my next order. and there WILL be a next order!) shoes. I know. I’m a crazy person for shoes but my feet are giving me SO MUCH TROUBLE so I’m on a constant quest for the best, cutest, most comfortable shoes to unsquish my toes.

rothys These shoes are THE SHIT. They’re made of recycled water bottles, they’re incredibly comfortable – like really really comfortable- the footbed feels way squishier than it should, they flex in all the right ways, they hug my feet without feeling tight. They’re made of recycled water bottles! I know I already said that.

These are going to replace my Tieks. I said it and I’m not sorry. I have 2 pairs of the ‘loafer’ style so far – these black ones and some leopard spot ones because leopard print is my favorite neutral. I went up a 1/2 size in them. Everyone says they’re true to size. Maybe I’ve been wearing the wrong size shoe this whole time?

They released a vans-style slip on sneaker today… I got some red ones. I have no chill when it comes to having comfortable feet! No chill at all. I mentioned these are made of recycled water bottles, right? They’re also machine washable. I haven’t had them long enough to need to wash them but I hear good things as long as you don’t put them in the dryer.

They are expensive. I think they are worth it.

number2

Fricking Starbucks Pumpkin Scones. Before Pumpkin Spice became such a thing Pumpkin scones were widely available throughout the year. Now there’s a whole calendar for them. (Do they still make maple scones? I used to love those too…)

Last year there was a shortage. I think I managed to get one all season and then they were gone. So this year I’m kind of a scone hoarder. It isn’t unusual for me to buy two at a time. There might be one in my purse right now. I have no regrets. They are delicious with a grande hot soy chai tea latte. (my Starbucks jam.)

They are much much less than a pair of Rothy’s. You should have one tomorrow.

number3

Period Panties. Fuckin’a I’mma talk about underwear right now. I found these on Kickstarter. (I love Kickstarter for bringing me these, and Exploding Kittens, and my Heart and Brain plushes.)

Many humans who experience periods also experience bloating and general misery and a desire to be as comfortable as possible. Enter sweats, granny panties and braletes. Exit granny panties because HELLO period panties. These are comfortable, irreverent, hilarious and they check a number of nerdy boxes. The boyshorts are my favorites but they’re all awesome and you won’t be disappointed. I also love anything that normalizes this natural part of life that I was raised to not ever ever talk about. ever.

Shark Week. so good.

Speaking of things that are awesome. I have a grownup birthday party this weekend. I really really wanted to get her a badass Nerf gun. Everyone needs at least one, right?

xoxo