holidaying my feelings – why is there so much crap in my house? edition

treeatnight
we decorated EARLY this year and I’m not sorry.

It’s weird to get to a place where you don’t want anything. but I don’t. I don’t want a single thing. I have EVERYTHING I need. I have MORE THAN I NEED.  I am getting rid of things at a steady pace.

part of the particular nature/nurture strain of anxiety/depression that I inherited from my father leads to purging. I try to be very conscious of what I get rid of because I want to make sure I have art my kids made in kindergarten, or baby photos, or my husband’s letterman jacket. dad was a reckless purger so there are things from my childhood that I would have preferred to not end up in a dumpster while I was in college… like anything from my childhood. Ten points to the X-ers in charge of our entertainment, because I can at least have NEW things of whatever things I don’t have from my childhood. Jem? Good Luck Bear? A Vintage style My Little Pony? A fricking Zoom birthday record?! They exist again and I could have all of those things.

but I don’t want them.

hygge
tea, cake, making lists. some of my favorites.

so right, while the holidays approach, and Winter is Coming, and I really want to start getting my house renovated, and things are happening in my professional life that I can’t/haven’t told everyone about yet… I’m fucking stressed out. I’m also really fucking depressed. I said that out loud to myself in the car the other day. “I am really fucking depressed” and the moment of acknowledging my feelings for what they are… it helped. I mean, Wellbutrin helps more, but recognition is important.

and I need to get a dumpster which currently has me REALLY worried because I do want to get rid of every.fucking.thing. in my house.

I speak only for myself and my own experiences with depression but if I had to make a list of things I “want” or “need” for Christmas right now they would include: socks, a throw blanket or four, a magically clean kitchen and front hallway unaccompanied by the sounds of angry cleaning, new toss pillows for the couch, cake, dark curtains in my bedroom for naps, naps, for my house to smell like a Christmas tree, candles in every room, having the dining room table completely clear… chocolate. See’s or Phillip’s Candy House especially. The soft ones with fruity creme centers. Or a trip to Disney. But mostly I need Hygge.

Hygge-2

I want Hygge for Christmas.

xoxo

 

three favorites thursday – rainy, fall edition

I’ve been sick all week with a cold that doesn’t want to go away. I’m not ready for the Hygge posts yet but I’m feeling a little pre-winter hygge happening right now because all I want to do is read and sleep and hang out with Dave watching Great British Bake Off. #MaryBerryForever

 

 

number1

Rothy’s! (yup, it’s a referral link, you get $20 off your first order, I get $20 off my next order. and there WILL be a next order!) shoes. I know. I’m a crazy person for shoes but my feet are giving me SO MUCH TROUBLE so I’m on a constant quest for the best, cutest, most comfortable shoes to unsquish my toes.

rothysThese shoes are THE SHIT. They’re made of recycled water bottles, they’re incredibly comfortable – like really really comfortable- the footbed feels way squishier than it should, they flex in all the right ways, they hug my feet without feeling tight. They’re made of recycled water bottles! I know I already said that.

These are going to replace my Tieks. I said it and I’m not sorry. I have 2 pairs of the ‘loafer’ style so far – these black ones and some leopard spot ones because leopard print is my favorite neutral. I went up a 1/2 size in them. Everyone says they’re true to size. Maybe I’ve been wearing the wrong size shoe this whole time?

They released a vans-style slip on sneaker today… I got some red ones. I have no chill when it comes to having comfortable feet! No chill at all. I mentioned these are made of recycled water bottles, right? They’re also machine washable. I haven’t had them long enough to need to wash them but I hear good things as long as you don’t put them in the dryer.

They are expensive. I think they are worth it.

 

 

number2

Fricking Starbucks Pumpkin Scones. Before Pumpkin Spice became such a thing Pumpkin scones were widely available throughout the year. Now there’s a whole calendar for them. (Do they still make maple scones? I used to love those too…)

pumpkinscone
breakfast of champions

Last year there was a shortage. I think I managed to get one all season and then they were gone. So this year I’m kind of a scone hoarder. It isn’t unusual for me to buy two at a time. There might be one in my purse right now. I have no regrets. They are delicious with a grande hot soy chai tea latte. (my Starbucks jam.)

They are much much less than a pair of Rothy’s. You should have one tomorrow.

 

 

number3

Period Panties. Fuckin’a I’mma talk about underwear right now.  I found these on Kickstarter. (I love Kickstarter for bringing me these, and Exploding Kittens, and my Heart and Brain plushes.)

Many humans who experience periods also experience bloating and general misery and a desire to be as comfortable as possible. Enter sweats, granny panties and braletes. Exit granny panties because HELLO period panties. These are comfortable, irreverent, hilarious and they check a number of nerdy boxes. The boyshorts are my favorites but they’re all awesome and you won’t be disappointed. I also love anything that normalizes this natural part of life that I was raised to not ever ever talk about. ever.

Shark Week. so good.

 

Speaking of things that are awesome. I have a grownup birthday party this weekend. I really really wanted to get her a badass Nerf gun. Everyone needs at least one, right?

xoxo