angry feminist rant Tuesday.

 

 

underhiseye
this great piece is by Val & Mani Art and can be found here.
I’m going to feminist rant all up in this bench. (I’ve been re-watching The Good Place)
only a forking douchebro gets into a fight after a reggae show because he’s too drunk. but by all means, let’s put that forking douchebro on the highest court in the land. I KNEW THESE GUYS IN COLLEGE. these were the guys who 1. didn’t smoke pot because it was illegal but got blacked out drunk and got into their cars. 2. they got kicked out of school for selling roofies. but school would let them back for a big enough donation! 3. they’d ask you on a date, get PLASTERED and would refuse to drive you home, you’d spend the night on their nastyash sofa and then they’d tell everyone that they’d slept with you. 4. They’d cryyyyyy as soon as you told them no, CRY. “I just needed someone to hold me, I’m so sad, I miss my girlfriend from Niagara Falls”. bench, call your mother. 5. These ashholes picked and chose their sins with impunity. Premarital sex? heck yes. Wear a condom? no, contraception is a sin. Fork off.
I’m SO ANGRY. I’m so angry that we’re still talking about this. that every single other man hasn’t said NO WAIT, THIS IS WRONG, FIND ANOTHER JUDGE. instead they’re on forking camera talking about “ramming this thing through” ARE YOU MOTHERFORKING KIDDING ME?!
While the church child abuse scandal is reopening in the public eye, rightfully infuriating Catholics nationwide we’re REALLY going to let this happen?
***Ladies. you gotta vote. you gotta get evangelical about voting. “have you accepted freedom and democracy as your personal life and savior?” because if so you gotta vote. vote. vote.
and don’t TALK to me about Roe v Wade. I’d love the number of medically unnecessary abortions to be zero, but not because of legislation! the best way to do that isn’t to start restricting abortion, it’s to start educating! it is to teach consent, and contraception. “ramming this through” so that you can finally win some moral victory about overturning Roe… you have no idea what you’re really asking for. Stop it. Be better. Vote better.
Screen Shot 2018-10-02 at 11.00.50 AM
I bought myself this shirt this weekend. (plus 2 others, one of which was inspired by The Handmaid’s Tale, and another that says Black Lives Matter more than White Feelings, Check your Privilege.) Their entire shop is amazing, it is female owned and operated and the women running the company and designing the shirts are 16 & 18!  Plus with every purchase they’re donating breakfast to the food insecure. I love this generation. We don’t deserve them.
xoxo
ps. I just this second bought this shirt also… it was too good not to.  You should get one too. we can be twinsies.
useyourvoice

No Favorites Thursday

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has been testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee today, I’m furious that in our names she is being put through this pain rather than just — oh I don’t know- finding a less problematic but still qualified nominee who doesn’t behave like he’s entitled to this goddamn job. and with this level of entitlement – think maybe he was a shitty entitled teenager too? because I do.

 

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 11.45.04 AM
so fricking cute, and I’ll wear a body-con but sometimes the week before you get your period you just need an empire waist. bonus points for making my pretty great boobs look even pretty greater.

I did shop the shit out of my feelings today – Torrid has a 40% off sale going for Platinum holders (people like me who shop the shit out of their feelings).  I bought three Emma blouses – I’m wearing one right now and I love it, I feel cute, I get compliments when I wear it and a thing I love about Torrid is that they make the same thing in different prints for women like me.  Also they are offering 4% back through Ebates today. Interestingly since I started writing about shopping I really slowed down my shopping… but sign up for Ebates. Since I signed up I’ve gotten checks totaling 1073.38. (Neiman Marcus offers 10% cash back almost all the time.)

So 300 dollars at Torrid later… I don’t feel better about things.

 

I think I need ice cream.

hotfudgesundae
Lunch! eating my rage.

 

also I just bought this. from here.

Screen Shot 2018-09-27 at 2.13.46 PM

 

xoxo

Three Favorites Thursday – distracted and anxious edition.

I’m waiting to hear if there’s a cement truck stuck in the mud of my backyard. We’ve had SO MUCH RAIN and they’re going to pour the cement pad for my studio today – and then the studio gets delivered tomorrow. And as of lunchtime, today has EASILY been three days long, with the first of those two days occurring between 7:28 and 9:30am. My right eye won’t stop twitching, which makes me think I need: 1. to relax because this isn’t my circus anymore. and 2. botox, because we all know I’m not going to stop stressing out, so the next best thing is just to paralyze those bitches into submission.

simplefavorI’m reading A Simple Favor, which I’m enjoying immensely even if the narrator is a HOT MESS. It is one of those “domestic thrillers” where no character is particularly likable. Our unreliable narrator is a blogger and a wannabe-super-mom who needs a lot of outside approval and I pretty much hate her and her blog and her writing style and I want to punch her in the face. So if you find yourself wanting to punch ME in the face you should tell me. I’m not likely to change my writing style though- this disjointed addiction to terrible grammar, loose capitalization, and incomplete sentences has been carefully honed over 40 years of desperately ignoring English teachers and refusing to diagram a single sentence correctly. Tense! Structure! Run-on! all the red pencil markings.

 

 

 

one

So today I’m calming my tits in my newest Thirdlove bra – I fricking love these bras. The lining is just squishy enough to keep things smooth, the straps are comfortable, they’re supportive, they wash well and they’re pretty. I have a few of them. (or 6, I have 6)  The commercials all talk about how women are racing home after work to take their bras off – this is not true in my case. I’m a bra wearer. I like them, I want the girls supported at all times.  Those cami tanks with the built in shelf bra? I love those for sleeping. Everything’s gotta be strapped in or I’m going to be cranky and then I’m going to sleep like shit and then EVERYONE will be cranky. I’ll make sure of it.

Screen Shot 2018-09-20 at 11.08.19 AM
it’s so pretty! 

Pretty sure this link gives you $30 off your first bra. Which is a pretty good deal. It also gives me $30 off my next bra. Which is also a pretty good deal.

 

 

 

twotwotwo

thegoodplace

HOLY MOTHER FORKING SHIRT BALLS, y’all. The Good Place is back next Thursday! (the 27th) Eleanor Shellstrop is one of my favorite fictional humans ever. She’s so terrible and flawed and funny and I really want her to get her shirt figured right the heck out. The first 2 seasons are available to watch on Netflix. The episodes are short- it’s a sitcom- they’re like 17 minutes of pure distilled 100 proof joy. The cast is outstanding, the storyline is stupid and wonderful and I love it.

Watching this show makes me feel better, it’s like a mini vacation from the worlds ugly bullshirt.

 

 

three3

Big girl pants! I’m in the dress version of Mickey Mouse right now – black and white polka dots with a scalloped v-neckline, red Tieks and a bright yellow necklace from Manic Trout. I love this whole outfit, it is fun. But most days lately I want to wear a pair of Wit & Wisdom AbSolution pants with a t-shirt (from Universal Standard), blazer and my Rothy’s. These pants are RIDICULOUS.

witwisdom

I know I’ve talked about these before – I’ve gotten a couple of pairs in my Trunk Club Trunks.

We aren’t allowed to wear jeans in the office but these pants are cut like jeans, and feel like the most comfortable pair of jeans- I love them. They’re even comfortable for road trips and flights and I might have worn the same pair of black ones every day last week. (I washed them, but only because I absolutely had to.)

Then this weekend I discovered that I own two pairs of the black ones, I’ve got at least 3 of the white, a pair of olive, some camo… I like finding them on Poshmark for WAY less than they sell for at Nordstrom.  You’re using Poshmark, right?

 

 

Here’s hoping the 2nd half of this day is only three hours long, and not several more days. I need Friday.

xoxo

 

 

 

 

The Return of Three Favorites Thursday!

Anxiety is a real, true, gross, pain in the ass sometimes. I have had *literally* (figuratively) 657 ideas for things to write about but then I was positive they were all terrible ideas. They weren’t but I feel like even if they were I should probably still have written because that’s what our teachers used to say about making writing a habit, right? I’m hyperventilating a little bit right now thinking “do I even have three favorite things?”

ummm. yes. I have thousands of favorite things, everything is my favorite.

one1

Earrings. I own lots of earrings, both because I make them, and because unlike things around my wrists or neck, I can generally handle keeping a comfortable pair of earrings in my ears all day.  Back in February I was on a cruise and the family in the cabin next to us were this gorgeous, fancy family from Mexico- tiny daughters all dressed the same with shiny ponytails, mom impeccable even tendering back from an excursion… perfect. Annnnyways, mom wore these earrings– and hers were probably real pearls worth thousands of dollars but I’m not about that, so I found them on Amazon. For 8.99. and I wear them at least 4 times a week. I feel so cool in them, they match EVERYTHING.  (I might have just this moment ordered the black and rose gold ones.) frontbackearrings

And when I’m not wearing those I’m usually wearing these – my friend Barbara reps for Stella & Dot and these earrings weigh NOTHING, go with EVERYTHING, and get me compliments every time I wear them. At $44 they are a bit more than the pearls above but still not terribly expensive and the amount of wear you’ll get out of them makes them absolutely worth it.

Screen Shot 2018-08-23 at 8.55.45 AM

 

 

 

two222

 

Shoes! I can’t stop buying shoes. I bought myself silver Frye combat boots yesterday – they won’t be here for another couple of weeks so those can’t be my favorite anything other than ‘favorite unworn purchase’ maybe… but I did also order the Tarte blush book so that could be my favorite unworn purchase…

Have I mentioned how my feet, which have always been my favorite physical feature, my cute little feet, are developing bunions? I think I have. Because they are, and they MEAN BUSINESS. So my toes need room to hang out and make a natural foot shape. On the other hand I have long loved a pointy toe. Which is where these come in. They were in my most recent Nordstrom Trunk Club Trunk (that’s a referral link… you should sign up, your wardrobe will thank you!)

kelinflatbp.jpg

These Kelin Flats from BP were $59.95 and instantly comfortable right out of the box. The leather is so soft, and the sole nice and flexible. 10 out of 10. Would recommend. They are getting a TON of wear and will be good right into fall. (I rock naked ankles until it starts snowing.)

 

kelin
see? pointy toe but not a narrow toe box, so hella comfortable. and I haven’t tried yet but I bet I could wear a bunion corrector with these. ahhh 42, the magical age when I learned what the f*ck a bunion corrector is.

I just read this piece from Augusta Falletta for Buzzfeed about retiring uncomfortable footwear and YES! I agree 100%. I’m a MUCH nicer human when my feet don’t hurt.

 

 

three3

These freaking dresses.  I live in this place where I’m constantly trying to find the perfect Disney wardrobe. Is that weird? I’m pretty sure that’s weird. Anyways, day to day I tend to wear a lot of New England appropriate things, lot of black, recently some navy and that blush color that is so popular right now. But COLOR and PATTERN are things I reserve for vacation in either Austin Texas (all the sundresses!) or Disney World.

magicdress33
trying to sneak into Club 33 in the magic dress. for reference I wear a 14 and this is an XL.

Enter the magical 17 dollar Amazon dress with POCKETS!  they’re cute, swingy, soft, they wash well and they’re the perfect length. (I wear Jockey Skimmies slipshorts under them- Skimmies would be my 3.5th favorite thing for this week, they are life changing, and not just because I’ve never met a breeze that didn’t want to introduce every passerby to a flash of my underwear.)

Anyways – the dress! Cute on its own, over skinny jeans, with a cardigan… I  love it. I have it in 2 patterns already and am tempted by 2 more.

 

 

 

So. there are my three favorites for Thursday August 23rd. And they’re all under 60$!

treatyoself

xoxo

 

 

 

Evening Ablutions

This started as a post about stress buying nail polish. Then this monstrosity of a post happened.  So nail polish talk tomorrow.

 

Last night as I was doing my evening routine I was thinking about my favorite products and how I should share. I’ve recently gotten us Quip brushes and holy crap, nothing shows just how not-long-enough you’ve been brushing your teeth like a brush that goes on a 2 minute timer.  That isn’t to say I don’t LOVE this brush though, because I do, it is sleek and their packaging is among my favorite. I have a link if you want to give one a try. You get your first replacement brush head for free and I get my next replacement brush head for free. It’s a win win. And yay clean teeth!

toothbrush

eyemakeupremover

I’m trying to use up products before I buy new ones so I’m not SUPER in love with my eye makeup remover but I have some friends who swear by it- it is doing the job- I just prefer the Neutrogena version.  But currently I’m using Target’s Up and Up oil free eye makeup remover. The thing about it is, it works, and I go through less of it than I would with the Neutrogena, so it’s actually an excellent buy. (I say rolling my eyes admitting that… fine, it’s good… I guess.) But I’m still looking forward to going back to Neutrogena and I’m not sorry!

 

I’ve got 5000 different facial cleansers, or 11, but it feels like a lot. So the method of washing my face varies, sometimes I use Neutrogena’s Hydro-Boost exfoliating cleanser which is a recent addition to my cleanser collection, and I love it, everything from the Hydro Boost line is magical. MAGICAL.  Sometimes I use Omorovicza Thermal Cleansing Balm – speaking of a magical product. Remember when Laura Linney was doing the Masterpiece Theater intro? I was OBSESSED with her perfect skin and discovered that Omorovicza was the line that she uses. It is hella expensive and smells like 4711- the cologne from Cologne, Germany.  My awesome friend Leslee reps for Rodan & Fields and I have TWO of their lines, and love both but for evening I tend to go with the Redefine Cleansing Mask because I don’t have time for a Mask in the morning. And speaking of Rodan &  Fields I LOVE following up a clean face with a little microdermabrasion – my skin feels instantly smoother and less congested after.

When I’ve got a clean face I either serum or moisturize or both. Or neither, because I’m still learning how to adult where my skin is concerned, and that is one of the many reasons I will never have Laura Linney’s skin.  Also, would things work better if I were super consistent about them? Yes, of course, but we live in an imperfect world and I can be pretty damn lazy.

My favorite serum right now is Ole Henriksen’s Truth Serum, I use it morning and night and it smells AMAZING (like oranges!) and the texture is awesome, very silky and light. I follow that with a Neutrogena night moisturizer. I alternate between Rapid Tone Repair and Rapid Wrinkle Repair.  They both work really well and come at a very reasonable price point. ($17. each)

Finally finally finally, if I’m not passed out I slap some Treat Beauty Marshmallow Moisture Stick on my lips and elbows, and in the wintertime I also use it on my knuckles. It smells delicious and works really well. I go to bed smelling like a unicorn. I also moisturize my hands with The Body Shop Shea whipped lotion that I got for Christmas last year and liked enough to buy one to keep on my desk at work, and I JUST started using O’Keeffe’s Foot Creme, I like it so far, I can put it on and go to bed and not feel like my feet are getting covered in sheet lint. (my sheets aren’t linty but you know…)

 

Y’all. I got SO TIRED OF HEARING MYSELF TALK about 10 minutes into writing this. But I’d gone too far so had to finish. So there it is. The things I use at night, sometimes. When I’m giving a crap.

So- what do you use? Because clearly I love product and am always up for more!

xoxo.

Friday I’m in Love (with these shoes)

When’s the last time you watched that video? Let’s start there.

30 seconds of honesty: I don’t know how to start this up again after being away from it for so long but I MISS 3 Favorites Thursdays, and generally having possible blog posts chilling out in the back of my brain all the time.

So…

In the last month I’ve had an incredible trip to Disneyland, a cancer scare, an 11 day visit from my mother and we lost the world’s best best best dog, I just keep crying.  Also, Trump is still going strong with his fuckery.

To say I have been shopping is an understatement. I stress shopped Nordstrom’s Anniversary Sale as if there would never be another opportunity to buy Wit & Wisdom Absolution pants ever ever again. (I got 5 pair.) (7 if you count the 2 currently in my shopping cart.)  Fugue stress shopping is like drunk shopping, I keep getting surprise emails from Nordstrom that my items are shipping and I think “man, stressed me has great taste!” so at least there’s that, I’m not buying ugly things for myself.

But the reason why we are all here – the shoes I bought this morning before I even got out of bed. (Thank you Apple Pay, I hate you.) (just kidding, I love you.)

Vans x Freaking Van Gogh. Vans Gogh? They were released today. Anyways, shut up and take all that money that I didn’t give to Nordstrom. I got these two. But there are also these- which I should probably also get. (especially the Old Vineyard pair. and the Almond Blossoms…)

vangogh

And look – the money generated by these cool kicks benefits the Van Gogh Museum. So really we’re all doing something good for the world when we buy these. There are sweatshirts and tees and the most gorgeous satin bomber jacket…

Get them at the Vans website.  They’re awesome, I’ve got to imagine they’ll sell out.

butwait

whiteclawa bonus thing you should get today that will make your weekend immeasurably more delicious – White Claw hard seltzer.  Remember New York Seltzer? It tastes exactly like that. But with 5% alcohol. It is everything Zima ever wanted to be but never could.

I’ll be floating in my pool drinking it starting at about 5:15 tonight.

xoxo.