Yesterday as part of the GISH event I made a 20 second film of filling a tiny piñata with negative self talk and then lighting it on fire and this morning I felt like anything was possible.
I spent some time thinking about ways to have a Disney career that wasn’t necessarily working FOR Disney, I think being a personal Disney shopper would be pretty amazing. I could combine two of my favorite things – shopping and Disney. Annnnnyways, here I am. 44 and figuring out what I want to do with my life. Setting goals as early as I can is now. Inspired as HECK by the wisdom of Walt and crossing my fingers that October 30th sees us in WDW for some Halloween shenanigans.
Florida – you are ON NOTICE. Get your shirt together, momma needs a Dole Whip Float.
and you guys, I’m going to make an effort to write with more frequency. I have been reading non-stop but I can’t be a writer if I’m not… writing. So- I’ll be back soon. There’s a pair of MASSIVE lobster tails in my refrigerator that we need to discuss.
In 2006 I was at Austin City Limits music festival with my kids, the youngest of whom had turned 6 days earlier. During Tom Petty’s set it started pouring rain and G got really upset, we packed up and headed out, my tiny, frightened, child crying not-so-quietly beside me in the large crowd of people leaving the event. A woman gave her her umbrella- “it’ll be ok” she said “we’re all in this together”.
her kindness, and those words specifically, were so powerful – I can’t get enough of them.
Here we are, three years into caged kids, separated families, klan marches, love letters to dictators, alternative facts, fast food award lunches, judge threatening, lawlessness. And we are here in part because 17,000 people in Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania forgot that we are ALL in this together and voted like they were alone.
Maybe we can get those people back, maybe we can’t. The goal should be to reach the people alienated by those votes, by votes in years past, by gerrymandered districts, by racist voter ID laws, by purged voter rolls. We have to show them that WE know that we are all in this together.
Am I going to stop trolling the current resident of the White House on twitter? HELL NO. He stands in opposition to EVERYTHING that makes us WE.
I’m getting off track… Disney.
I was in Disney last month and even when I’m in my happy place my anxiety about the world doesn’t go away, if anything it intensifies. Surrounded by the cutest happy babies, the most cranky overtired toddlers having 6pm meltdowns, grumpy adults who missed their naps… Surrounded by tourists from all over the world who still want to spend their money and their time in our country despite everything going on here. While America is working on becoming as tribal as possible Disney is the melting pot.
aside: Unfortunately the Disney melting pot excludes the poor and less privileged. We need a living wage, universal healthcare and child care! We need to stop insisting that our baristas have bachelor’s degrees with 100,000 in student loans, and start encouraging people to explore the trades. We need to make it ok to completely change careers in midlife, if we can’t course correct we are lost.
Getting off track again – back to Disney. We were in EPCOT and I was standing in line in a restroom. A stall had come empty and the lady at the front of the line didn’t notice, a woman who was headed outside did notice and walked the lady to the empty stall. A little girl in front of me said “that was really nice!” and the woman said “sweetheart, we’re all in this together”.
I walked out of there and said to my husband: “remind me to write a blog post about all being in this together”
so here we are.
If we’re all in it together in the BATHROOM, and we’re all in it together in the rain, can we all please be in it together when we go vote? When we talk about people who are different than us? When we talk TO people who are different than us? When we think about educating our kids, or keeping them safe with gun laws that make damn sense? When we talk about immigration and refugees and the homeless and our treatment of veterans? (and in the most wealthy country on earth we CAN take care of all of them) Or when we think about the climate crisis?
Say it- every day- to yourself or to someone else, make them believe you, believe it yourself: “Sweetheart, we’re all in this together.”
Despite my firm “not shopping” stance I have ordered 5 different undergarments to science out the whole Disney Parks Swampass situation when I’m there later this month.
So far I’ve ordered a pair of Knix, a pair of Thinx, a pair of Cooling ThighSociety shorts, a pair of UnderSummers and a pair of Drirelease TomboyX boxers, I’ve also ordered a pair of bandlettes for the non-undershorts times.
Knix and Thinx are technically period panties but I’m operating under ‘liquid is liquid’ an if it absorbs blood it should absorb sweat, right?
“But Erin” you say “you’re only going to have 3 park days!”
Yup, but (and since we are really oversharing right now) I usually change clothes halfway through the day because I’m a SWEATY BITCH and I like to be comfortable.
I will also be in Austin and Lubbock Texas, so I’ll try stuff out there as well.
SO. what else should I be trying? I prefer shorts since I like wearing skirts and dresses at Disney for air-flow but I’m willing to try non-shorts as well.
I feel like I should add a couple more Disney days… 😂
I’m not the only one with crotch temperature on the brain. The Bloggess is also tackling the science… Read it! (The science of crotches)
sometimes it feels like I’m Columbusing these picks…. I mean, people know this shiz is awesome, that’s why it is available, but *I* didn’t always know this shiz was awesome – so enjoy these brand new discoveries which I will name and personally take credit for.
TomboyX boxers. Gender neutral boxers in outstanding patterns and GREAT fabric. I bought a pair of these on clearance after halloween to wear under skirts at Disney – because if I can’t wear jeans I definitely prefer skirts or dresses and with my… shapely… thighs I need some friction protection. Normally this takes the form of Jockeys Skimmies which are pretty damn magical but I… and here you learn more about me than anyone needs to… I’m sweaty and I’m a bit of a prude who went to all girls school so I can’t wear skimmies without wearing underwear under them so there’s 2 layers under my skirt and twice the chance to get really forking sweaty.
annnnnyways. boxers. these are now my go-to under skirts and I managed to get a day in Disney in May while I was wearing these and they worked pretty great! I was still sweaty but I didn’t feel as gross. (moments ago I ordered a pair of Knix, I’m going to try those in the park next month, I could literally have an entire blog about Disney swampass avoidance techniques)
Yesterday I also ordered a pair of TomboyX drirelease performance boxers because I’m desperate. look for the update on those in the swampass blog sometime in August. lucky you.
also- I’m a big girl AND (I had originally written “but” here, as if big girls can’t have good asses, when of course we do!) I’ve got a pretty good booty and it looks BOMB in these. new favorite pjs. and the sizes they stock! they go up to 4X. amazing and inclusive. I love them. you will also.
use this link to get $20 off your first $70 purchase (which would make it a $50 purchase…)
I normally use Rodan & Fields for my skincare routine but while I was in Florida in January I took my oldest to Sephora to replace her face wash and she got this First Aid Beauty Skin Rescue red clay cleanser and it is amazing. I had to go back to buy myself one and I’m on my second replacement tube of it right now. So so good. Not drying but definitely feels clean when I’m done, smells really good, I love it. And it is available from Amazon, and also from Sephora, who has a great return policy.
and, while we are talking about products I’ve had for a while and only started using recently (like the boxers…) I’ve started using The Ordinary’s Peeling Solution and this stuff is LEGIT. I use it twice a week and can immediately feel and see a difference in the glow and texture of my skin. 10 minutes 2x a week, I’ve only been using it for 3 weeks but I’m liking what I’m seeing so far. Also I love spending those 10 minutes looking like I’ve just had one of those Kardashian vampire facials but with acid, and without the possibility for deadly blood borne diseases. win win. The peel is much cheaper at Sephora unless you have to pay for shipping – also if you can place an 8.00 Sephora order let me know – I have never seen such a feat.
go get that glow on.
being hydrated. my youngest is going to college next year. I thought it was hard sending my oldest to vermont, but now my baby is going to texas and I’m going to miss them both so damn much. so I’m crying a lot. and it’s leaving me straight up dehydrated. like, waking up after not drinking feeling hungover, dehydrated.
which is where water comes in. seriously. #3 is water. we have one of those water coolers in the kitchen with the 5 gallon bottles – and the water IN the bottles comes from a spring maybe 1500 yards from our house sitting beneath the oldest bottling plant in the US (Simpson Spring) and it is delicious.
though this is not about water – this is about the GREATEST WATER BOTTLE IN THE WORLD. (in my opinion) I filled it with ice yesterday morning and it is still full of ice this morning. I got it last fall when I was finally able to see Hamilton and have used it every day since then. it was FIFTY DOLLARS which is dumb stupid for a water bottle – or I thought it was – but I love a theater Merch Bar (<–you can buy it at that link if you want the Hamilton version!) and I know I’m not wearing all the t-shirts I’ve bought so I switched it up with the water bottle.
If you don’t want to spend $50 on a water bottle (and honestly, who does?) the non-Hamilton versions of this bottle are very frequently for sale for $25 – $30 on the S’well website. The sale items vary by season, there are some really cool ones right now, I keep wanting to buy another but I HAVE ONE, they’re indestructible, I’m not going to need another one ever.
I travel with this – which is funny EVERY time I’m in the airport security line as I’m chugging 17 ounces of cold water – but that means it is also my Disney Parks water bottle and in the sun the bottle itself gets quite warm but the contents are always cold. maybe I should get a parks bottle that isn’t black… 😁
and if you use ebates (soon to become Rakuten) please tell me you use ebates! if not sign up here (<–click on that) and we both get a bonus! The cash back bonus for s’well is 3% which is not too shabby!
anyhow – there are my three favorites for Spring/Summer 2019 – poor little abandoned blog.
Nothing says “Confronting your shopping demons” like destashing your LuLaRoe leggings collection on Poshmark. (yes, another poshmark post!)
Last month I set a goal for myself – I decided to set July 24th as the deadline since on July 25th I’m going to have to put my closet on vacation until August 2nd. (I HATE putting my closet on vacation, while I’m very good at going on vacation I’m not great at BEING on vacation- if that makes sense.)
I’m $60 away from my goal. I would be closer but I bought a couple of things for the girls. I’m not shopping for myself but a $6 Ann Taylor Loft Dress in the Texas Tech school colors isn’t something I can pass up while we’re starting to get the youngest packed. Lots and lots of red & black.
But I mean, I’m going to MAKE that goal, and I’ve set my next one to start immediately.
I rented a house in Florida again for January & Poshmark is going to pay for it.
Something about growing up Catholic makes me feel like I still have to confess everything. I’m not sure if I want penance or if I want the community of feeling like I’m not alone in whatever stupid shit I’ve done. Poshmark and this blog are both very performative methods of confession.
So thirty seconds of honesty – I’m in the process of listing 20-25 pairs of leggings in my Posh Closet. I’m not doing the math because I very rarely paid full price but still. HOLY CRAP ERIN. I’m keeping 7 pairs.
I keep writing posts and then not posting them. I’m not sure if it is anxiety or that I’m just boring the shit out of myself halfway through – but I do know I miss this – so I’m going to make regular writing a thing that I just do.
I want to write a book. or three, really. I’ve got ideas for 3 and I’ve started on 1. I’m very good at starting things, not so great at finishing and even WORSE at promoting things that I have finished.
so there’s that.
and yes, one is definitely a feminist manifesto for children about a flamingo, duh.
like I said before, my youngest child is headed to TTU in Lubbock next month. NEXT MONTH. no wonder it feels as if my meds aren’t working. that is FAR. my oldest feels far away and she’s at UVM and I can drive there in under 4 hours. what the hell am I going to do?
My husband (who I just remembered asked once years ago to be called Blevvins if I ever blog about him) and I haven’t been on our own since we were 23. I turned 43 in May.
it’ll be fun. but I’m going to need a coping mechanism that isn’t buying another 25 pairs of leggings or going to Disney. thaaaat feels weird to say. I’ll still be going to Disney, but the amount of Disney that I feel like I’ll need is incompatible with the fact that I’m still not making an income.
going on 6 months now.
hence the books.
I can’t be the only nerd to google “how many pages are in a children’s picture book?” “how many words?”
Ok I don’t have a vision board but if I did *Live Near Disney* would be on there, just after *pay for the kids’ college* and *write a book*.
I got distracted by a Johnny Was dress. If I could be a style of clothing it would be whatever Johnny Was is. Lots of black with very interesting and beautiful details in brilliant colors- usually embroidered. Anyways- this is the dress.
I went so far as to put it in a shopping cart. Then I closed the window because who am I kidding?
Then I went to Facebook where it showed up in my sponsored advertising. Thanks for that.
And the next thing I saw was this cake from Hollywood Studios which is turning 30 today. And I thought, if I lived there I could go eat this today. (That was my favorite part of the 5 weeks I spent there this winter- the instant gratification was spectacular.)
And then (all of this happened in about 7 minutes.) I took that awesome dress out of the shopping cart and took another 15 things out of my closet to put on poshmark.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve been working on a poshmark tutorial for you, it is coming. I am easily distracted, and lately have been incredibly anxious. Like Xanax & cbd chocolates at the same time, anxious.
In related news- I think I need a vision board.
What would you put on yours? Do you already have one? Teach me your ways.
a glorious month of sunny, sugary, delicious, friend-centric, disney, disney, disney, disney, disney comes to an end on Saturday morning when my husband – who I miss so much, and I, drive home.
I have wanted to blog this entire experience, but it all feels so braggy- and I’m not trying to brag, or to gloat, or to rub anything in anyones’ faces- and so I’ve kept my adventures pretty much on the DL. (until now I guess because no man is an island, or something…) I have been INSANELY LUCKY. I have (had? had.) a financial situation that allowed these once-in-a-lifetime shenanigans, I have a husband who is so fricking cool and who takes my crazy ideas in stride, my kids are old enough to handle my extended absence, and I found myself without a job, but with enough money to do something crazy stupid fun.
so here I am, with my giant sliding door open to a body of water posted with a sign about not touching the alligators and watching out for poisonous snakes, the sun was brilliant all day, it has been the warmest day since I got here, I finished reading my first book of vacation and started my second- which I plan to finish tonight while the State of the Union is going on. Feel free to text me when I should take a drink. I’ll open a bottle of rosé.
thirty seconds of honesty – I didn’t watch the super bowl this year. I’m feeling conflicted about football and it’s racism and the exploitation of black athletes and the brain damage it inflicts and I love my sports teams but I wasn’t feeling it this year.
what I *am*, however, is in Disney World. where Tom Brady and Julian Edelman were yesterday. with Mickey Mouse. on a parade float that shot confetti. so OBVIOUSLY I had to go to that, and it was awesome.
I highly recommend living in Disney World – it is the shit. a couple of weeks ago a new frozen drink came out in Norway, I read about it online and the next day I was drinking it. 10/10 would recommend.
part of my thinking behind this whole vacation was to see if I would get tired of Disney. the answer is no. I would like to live here all the time please. I’m not good at a lot of things, but I am really forking good at Disney. making that a career somehow would be ideal, whatcha got? I need ideas.
here are some photos.
my oldest daughter drove down with me, two of my besties just spent last weekend with me, my sister came for a week – we met Edna Mode, and went to Gasparilla, and did an after hours party.
in the last month I’ve been able to attend After Hours events in the 3 parks where they are available – and they are AMAZING. you get the park to yourself, which is pretty much the dream, right?
I don’t even remember where I was going with this – and I ALREADY want to write another whole thing about more of the fun things I have been able to do. We’ll see.
I’ve got to go find some dinner, and then I have to find a warehouse space, and an inventory, and a plan for the next phase of my life that will allow me to pay for my kids to go to college and maybe one day to be able to retire to Florida with my cute husband. nbd.
turns out that not working hasn’t cured my anxiety. I didn’t think it would, I don’t have a paycheck right now and that’s stressful, I have a massive trade show to go to next week and THAT is stressful, I don’t have business cards, my company isn’t actually incorporated yet, I didn’t bring businessy clothes with me on this trip…
I napped for a solid 4 hours today but since I woke up my watch has told me to start concentrating on my breathing at least three times.
coloring for stress relief seems like a good idea until I sit down with my tin of sharpened pencils and my very elaborate coloring book patterns. then I remember that a giant part of my anxiety is DEFINITELY related to decision fatigue and having to choose colors, and a pattern, and making sure I don’t screw up the pattern or make sure that the colors that will eventually meet up aren’t going to clash or be too close or, or, or… does anyone want any coloring books? because I have a few I will NEVER use.
enter Facebook targeted advertising.
magic fricking scratch-off art. it’s like color by number but by subtraction. and it is calming and therapeutic as heck. my oldest daughter and I took a road trip last week and I brought two of these sets and every night we worked on one for about an hour before bed and it was everything you want in a mindless activity without any potential frustration. losing puzzle pieces? no. decided on burnt sienna only to realize that your mandala looks like a mustard spill? no. lost your scissors? realized you don’t know how to cross stitch? keep stabbing yourself with a needle? threw away the cord for your sewing machine? artistic collage ransom notes frowned upon? never learned how to make friendship bracelets?
caveat – it does make a little bit of a black speckly mess but a clorox wipe and a paper towel and you’re good to go.
unrelated to the scratching art – but certainly related to the anxiety… I wrote SO MANY THINGS during my last week or two of work- (they threw me a taco party! I wore jeans every day!) but never posted any of them – it was a tough couple of weeks for me. I loved that job and those coworkers and that company. I had been prepared to make that job the rest of my working life and very quickly with little time to adjust, that entire plan was changed. so now I’m scratching my way to Plan B. literally, figuratively, emotionally… like the hot mess I am. but for now I’m hiding out regrouping in my villains lair. -which is actually a great little townhouse in central Florida with my own tiny pool- I’ll tell you more about it next time.
in the meantime I’m going to question the life choices which led me to decide against buying a couple of bottles of wine while I was at Target earlier today. their target has a straight up liquor store in it! never mind wine – I could be having a vodka tonic right now.
(I originally typed: misandry edition. because it is the end of a very long 2018 so why not.)
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 ?
Imma stream of consciousness this post today.
this doesn’t count as a favorite…
since when is the green lifesaver watermelon? I bought my first roll of non butterscotch lifesavers in easily… I mean, when did they have the mini holes candies? because that long.
but speaking of misandry (which is also not a favorite) – I had a whole ‘year of the woman writer’ in 2018. Not every voice was perfect but I’m OVER (over over over) boob-dimensional female characters written by men.
I got NO sleep last night because I couldn’t stop reading this book. It was ridiculous and as all over the place as this blog will be today. so it is fitting I include it.
(closer to 3-1/2 stars) I enjoyed this book, I stayed up until 2 this morning reading it, it was fast paced and interesting – but it was also incredibly frustrating. The men in Sarah’s life were atrocious, she makes terrible decisions, her dogs need leashes, her doors need locks. Beyond that though, solid storytelling with a likable, albeit infuriating, main character.
I look EVERYTHING up.
before the internet I was a big fan of the card catalogue, the encyclopedia, the reference book. I need to know things and with this glorious anxiety the more information I have the better – how often should I blog? how do I blog? how do I say no to someone who asks to be a houseguest? what is a triple net lease? how do I tell my coworkers I’m leaving my job? what is the difference between an LLC and a Sole Proprietorship? how do I start an art collection? what are the hipster neighborhoods in Orlando? where are the best brunch spots in Orlando? when will there be a Chuy’s in Massachusetts? what information should be on a business card? how do you name a company?
see what I did there? I still haven’t figured out how to tell all of my coworkers that I’m leaving my job at the end of the year.
I love this job, I love this company, I love my coworkers. But it is time for a change.
I’m starting my own company, staying in the industry I’ve been working in for the last 5 years. I’m taking January and February off, I’ve rented a place in Florida for 5 weeks, and I am going to bust out some strategy in the sunshine. (14 miles from the Magic Kingdom because who are we kidding?) I’m freaking the fork out. But I’m 42 and next year both of my kids will be in college, it is time to figure out what I’m going to do when I grow up.
Introducing the Pantone Color of the Year 2019, PANTONE 16-1546 Living Coral – an animating and life-affirming coral hue with a golden undertone that energizes and enlivens with a softer edge. Sociable and spirited, the engaging nature of Living Coral welcomes and encourages lighthearted activity. Symbolizing our innate need for optimism and joyful pursuits, Living Coral embodies our desire for playful expression. #COY2019
I want lighthearted activity. Remember lighthearted activity?
brb, gotta figure out how to tell my coworkers I’m leaving the company at the end of the year…
y’all. all I ever ever wanted to be growing up was an archaeologist. or paleontologist. or anthropologist. or a combination of those three. I didn’t, because… reasons… some having to do with a super conservative upbringing where women have a specific role and it doesn’t involve digging in the Valley of the Kings. and also an enormous lack of self confidence. and a general fear of getting the thing that I want. and my college counselor telling me she would’t write me a recommendation to the schools with the good archaeology departments.
“why would you want to do all of that work, when you’ll know all the answers when you get to heaven anyways?” (not a quote from my guidance counselor, just a thing I was told growing up.) but what the actual fork?!
the point – I’ve stopped listening to MSNBC in the car, and while I miss Nicole Wallace and the righteous rage of Steve Schmidt I don’t miss the anxiety or Joe Scarborough’s pompous snark. So what have I been listening to instead? Glad you asked. I’ve been listening to National Geographic’s: The Great Courses. Specifically Archaeology: An Introduction to the World’s Greatest Sites. Which, I did NOT pay 234.95 for, I used a single Audible credit. (14.95) And while I feel a little jealous when he is obviously showing images to the camera I also feel like I can put the $220.00 that I saved towards my Nile River Cruise in 2022.
it is a FANTASTIC listen, and one I highly recommend. Chapter 10 is “How do you excavate at a site?” and he goes into specific things like tools (Marshalltown Trowels, everyone should bring their own) to pick axes. (provided at the site). at one point he says something about how his dig volunteers are mostly students but they’re not all students. sometimes they’re retired doctors or people who want to check ‘archaeological dig’ off of their bucket list. at which point, 5 minutes from the office, at 7:30 in the morning, I’m crying in my car.
I can do that! I’m 42 and the fact that I’m not an archaeologist is 100% on me now and next year we will have 2 kids in college so volunteering on a dig sounds about my speed.