Ok I don’t have a vision board but if I did *Live Near Disney* would be on there, just after *pay for the kids’ college* and *write a book*.
I got distracted by a Johnny Was dress. If I could be a style of clothing it would be whatever Johnny Was is. Lots of black with very interesting and beautiful details in brilliant colors- usually embroidered. Anyways- this is the dress.
I went so far as to put it in a shopping cart. Then I closed the window because who am I kidding?
Then I went to Facebook where it showed up in my sponsored advertising. Thanks for that.
And the next thing I saw was this cake from Hollywood Studios which is turning 30 today. And I thought, if I lived there I could go eat this today. (That was my favorite part of the 5 weeks I spent there this winter- the instant gratification was spectacular.)
And then (all of this happened in about 7 minutes.) I took that awesome dress out of the shopping cart and took another 15 things out of my closet to put on poshmark.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve been working on a poshmark tutorial for you, it is coming. I am easily distracted, and lately have been incredibly anxious. Like Xanax & cbd chocolates at the same time, anxious.
In related news- I think I need a vision board.
What would you put on yours? Do you already have one? Teach me your ways.
a glorious month of sunny, sugary, delicious, friend-centric, disney, disney, disney, disney, disney comes to an end on Saturday morning when my husband – who I miss so much, and I, drive home.
I have wanted to blog this entire experience, but it all feels so braggy- and I’m not trying to brag, or to gloat, or to rub anything in anyones’ faces- and so I’ve kept my adventures pretty much on the DL. (until now I guess because no man is an island, or something…) I have been INSANELY LUCKY. I have (had? had.) a financial situation that allowed these once-in-a-lifetime shenanigans, I have a husband who is so fricking cool and who takes my crazy ideas in stride, my kids are old enough to handle my extended absence, and I found myself without a job, but with enough money to do something crazy stupid fun.
so here I am, with my giant sliding door open to a body of water posted with a sign about not touching the alligators and watching out for poisonous snakes, the sun was brilliant all day, it has been the warmest day since I got here, I finished reading my first book of vacation and started my second- which I plan to finish tonight while the State of the Union is going on. Feel free to text me when I should take a drink. I’ll open a bottle of rosé.
thirty seconds of honesty – I didn’t watch the super bowl this year. I’m feeling conflicted about football and it’s racism and the exploitation of black athletes and the brain damage it inflicts and I love my sports teams but I wasn’t feeling it this year.
what I *am*, however, is in Disney World. where Tom Brady and Julian Edelman were yesterday. with Mickey Mouse. on a parade float that shot confetti. so OBVIOUSLY I had to go to that, and it was awesome.
I highly recommend living in Disney World – it is the shit. a couple of weeks ago a new frozen drink came out in Norway, I read about it online and the next day I was drinking it. 10/10 would recommend.
part of my thinking behind this whole vacation was to see if I would get tired of Disney. the answer is no. I would like to live here all the time please. I’m not good at a lot of things, but I am really forking good at Disney. making that a career somehow would be ideal, whatcha got? I need ideas.
here are some photos.
my oldest daughter drove down with me, two of my besties just spent last weekend with me, my sister came for a week – we met Edna Mode, and went to Gasparilla, and did an after hours party.
in the last month I’ve been able to attend After Hours events in the 3 parks where they are available – and they are AMAZING. you get the park to yourself, which is pretty much the dream, right?
I don’t even remember where I was going with this – and I ALREADY want to write another whole thing about more of the fun things I have been able to do. We’ll see.
I’ve got to go find some dinner, and then I have to find a warehouse space, and an inventory, and a plan for the next phase of my life that will allow me to pay for my kids to go to college and maybe one day to be able to retire to Florida with my cute husband. nbd.
turns out that not working hasn’t cured my anxiety. I didn’t think it would, I don’t have a paycheck right now and that’s stressful, I have a massive trade show to go to next week and THAT is stressful, I don’t have business cards, my company isn’t actually incorporated yet, I didn’t bring businessy clothes with me on this trip…
I napped for a solid 4 hours today but since I woke up my watch has told me to start concentrating on my breathing at least three times.
coloring for stress relief seems like a good idea until I sit down with my tin of sharpened pencils and my very elaborate coloring book patterns. then I remember that a giant part of my anxiety is DEFINITELY related to decision fatigue and having to choose colors, and a pattern, and making sure I don’t screw up the pattern or make sure that the colors that will eventually meet up aren’t going to clash or be too close or, or, or… does anyone want any coloring books? because I have a few I will NEVER use.
enter Facebook targeted advertising.
magic fricking scratch-off art. it’s like color by number but by subtraction. and it is calming and therapeutic as heck. my oldest daughter and I took a road trip last week and I brought two of these sets and every night we worked on one for about an hour before bed and it was everything you want in a mindless activity without any potential frustration. losing puzzle pieces? no. decided on burnt sienna only to realize that your mandala looks like a mustard spill? no. lost your scissors? realized you don’t know how to cross stitch? keep stabbing yourself with a needle? threw away the cord for your sewing machine? artistic collage ransom notes frowned upon? never learned how to make friendship bracelets?
caveat – it does make a little bit of a black speckly mess but a clorox wipe and a paper towel and you’re good to go.
unrelated to the scratching art – but certainly related to the anxiety… I wrote SO MANY THINGS during my last week or two of work- (they threw me a taco party! I wore jeans every day!) but never posted any of them – it was a tough couple of weeks for me. I loved that job and those coworkers and that company. I had been prepared to make that job the rest of my working life and very quickly with little time to adjust, that entire plan was changed. so now I’m scratching my way to Plan B. literally, figuratively, emotionally… like the hot mess I am. but for now I’m hiding out regrouping in my villains lair. -which is actually a great little townhouse in central Florida with my own tiny pool- I’ll tell you more about it next time.
in the meantime I’m going to question the life choices which led me to decide against buying a couple of bottles of wine while I was at Target earlier today. their target has a straight up liquor store in it! never mind wine – I could be having a vodka tonic right now.
(I originally typed: misandry edition. because it is the end of a very long 2018 so why not.)
1 – 2 – 3 – 4 ?
Imma stream of consciousness this post today.
this doesn’t count as a favorite…
since when is the green lifesaver watermelon? I bought my first roll of non butterscotch lifesavers in easily… I mean, when did they have the mini holes candies? because that long.
but speaking of misandry (which is also not a favorite) – I had a whole ‘year of the woman writer’ in 2018. Not every voice was perfect but I’m OVER (over over over) boob-dimensional female characters written by men.
I got NO sleep last night because I couldn’t stop reading this book. It was ridiculous and as all over the place as this blog will be today. so it is fitting I include it.
(closer to 3-1/2 stars) I enjoyed this book, I stayed up until 2 this morning reading it, it was fast paced and interesting – but it was also incredibly frustrating. The men in Sarah’s life were atrocious, she makes terrible decisions, her dogs need leashes, her doors need locks. Beyond that though, solid storytelling with a likable, albeit infuriating, main character.
I look EVERYTHING up.
before the internet I was a big fan of the card catalogue, the encyclopedia, the reference book. I need to know things and with this glorious anxiety the more information I have the better – how often should I blog? how do I blog? how do I say no to someone who asks to be a houseguest? what is a triple net lease? how do I tell my coworkers I’m leaving my job? what is the difference between an LLC and a Sole Proprietorship? how do I start an art collection? what are the hipster neighborhoods in Orlando? where are the best brunch spots in Orlando? when will there be a Chuy’s in Massachusetts? what information should be on a business card? how do you name a company?
see what I did there? I still haven’t figured out how to tell all of my coworkers that I’m leaving my job at the end of the year.
I love this job, I love this company, I love my coworkers. But it is time for a change.
I’m starting my own company, staying in the industry I’ve been working in for the last 5 years. I’m taking January and February off, I’ve rented a place in Florida for 5 weeks, and I am going to bust out some strategy in the sunshine. (14 miles from the Magic Kingdom because who are we kidding?) I’m freaking the fork out. But I’m 42 and next year both of my kids will be in college, it is time to figure out what I’m going to do when I grow up.
Introducing the Pantone Color of the Year 2019, PANTONE 16-1546 Living Coral – an animating and life-affirming coral hue with a golden undertone that energizes and enlivens with a softer edge. Sociable and spirited, the engaging nature of Living Coral welcomes and encourages lighthearted activity. Symbolizing our innate need for optimism and joyful pursuits, Living Coral embodies our desire for playful expression. #COY2019
I want lighthearted activity. Remember lighthearted activity?
brb, gotta figure out how to tell my coworkers I’m leaving the company at the end of the year…
y’all. all I ever ever wanted to be growing up was an archaeologist. or paleontologist. or anthropologist. or a combination of those three. I didn’t, because… reasons… some having to do with a super conservative upbringing where women have a specific role and it doesn’t involve digging in the Valley of the Kings. and also an enormous lack of self confidence. and a general fear of getting the thing that I want. and my college counselor telling me she would’t write me a recommendation to the schools with the good archaeology departments.
“why would you want to do all of that work, when you’ll know all the answers when you get to heaven anyways?” (not a quote from my guidance counselor, just a thing I was told growing up.) but what the actual fork?!
the point – I’ve stopped listening to MSNBC in the car, and while I miss Nicole Wallace and the righteous rage of Steve Schmidt I don’t miss the anxiety or Joe Scarborough’s pompous snark. So what have I been listening to instead? Glad you asked. I’ve been listening to National Geographic’s: The Great Courses. Specifically Archaeology: An Introduction to the World’s Greatest Sites. Which, I did NOT pay 234.95 for, I used a single Audible credit. (14.95) And while I feel a little jealous when he is obviously showing images to the camera I also feel like I can put the $220.00 that I saved towards my Nile River Cruise in 2022.
it is a FANTASTIC listen, and one I highly recommend. Chapter 10 is “How do you excavate at a site?” and he goes into specific things like tools (Marshalltown Trowels, everyone should bring their own) to pick axes. (provided at the site). at one point he says something about how his dig volunteers are mostly students but they’re not all students. sometimes they’re retired doctors or people who want to check ‘archaeological dig’ off of their bucket list. at which point, 5 minutes from the office, at 7:30 in the morning, I’m crying in my car.
I can do that! I’m 42 and the fact that I’m not an archaeologist is 100% on me now and next year we will have 2 kids in college so volunteering on a dig sounds about my speed.
my dad loves convenience stores, his dad did too. They’re open on holidays, some are open 24 hours, they all have news papers and Life Savers and their milk and bread are usually delivered more frequently than they are to the grocery store. Our milk ALWAYS came from the convenience store. I also love them, because I love fountain soda – and other than McDonalds, 7-11 usually has the BEST fountain soda. also I love snacks.
when I was a kid he’d tell me I could have candy if I could decide *right now* so sometimes I didn’t get candy because I’M THE WORST AT DECISIONS. Also, I love him, but patience isn’t a thing he’s known for. I get that from him too. I go from zero to WHAT THE FORK?!!! in 6 seconds or less. My lack of decisiveness isn’t Chidi level bad but I’m constantly second guessing myself. Anyways. I want an Away Suitcase (I love shit that gets hyped on instagram, and so far have not been led astray) Annnnnyways (again) They have these collaborations that sell out SO FAST and I want one of those but the next day they’re gone. So I have to decide that I 245 dollars love something split second and that is hard for me. I don’t think I 245 dollars love anything at first sight. But their genius marketing requires that kind of decision making which works in direct opposition to my anxiety.
I have spent HOURS researching what people say about them, does the Bigger Carry-on fit in a JetBlue overhead bin? (seems to) Does the battery actually charge 5x? (seems to) Do they actually fit all that much? (seem to) Am I going to be one of those people dragging a suitcase with a broken wheel? (seems not)
and during that time collaborations have come and gone. The one I’m saddest about I didn’t even KNOW about before it had already sold out. Endor (the green one) was MADE FOR ME. #returnofthejedi4lyfe
they have nine solid every day colors, but… eh? They did a collaboration with Dwayne Wade that included a WINE SUITCASE. Do I need that? no, I wouldn’t have bought it, but I DID like the Bigger Carryon in two tones of blue with a cool liner.
they even did a Minions collaboration! Would I have bought a 245 dollar thing to troll my children with? Probably not. But maybe… but probably not.
Rashida Jones did a collaboration. Her colors were good. That one happened before I realized that I wanted one…
Which leads me to Violet. Violet released yesterday and is still available today! So now, like a jackass, I’m going to “zen of shopping” it and say… if it’s still available tomorrow I’ll get it. Which I probably won’t, because 245 seems like A LOT to spend…
My super talented and creative friend Laura Fisk of Fisk & Fern is THIS MINUTE creating a Breakfast Taco tea towel for you to add to your extensive tea towel collection. (I KNOW I’m not the only one with an extensive tea towel collection… right?) Anyways. When she releases it I’mma put it up here. So watch this space. And in the meantime here’s Queso and Margaritas. Which are the perfect bookends for tacos.
I love Austin, Texas. I belong there. Even through hundred degree summers I forking THRIVED in Austin. We are flying down tonight and I’m READY.
There are so many things that could be #3 on this Austincentric Favorites list. Obviously my friends. (but I count them in as just being Austin.) Pluckers, Jack Allen’s Kitchen, Deep Eddy Vodka… but this week it’s the reason why we are going to Austin.
Austin City Limits. Three days, drinking wine out of sports bottles in a field. Where my friends are. And also all this music, and usually sunshine, and beer, and the most ridiculous food. Right now it is looking like it could be overcast and rainy so I’mma need someone to get Dick Cheney to turn on his weather machine and fix that shirt.