I have 4 nights left in Disney. And no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.

a glorious month of sunny, sugary, delicious, friend-centric, disney, disney, disney, disney, disney comes to an end on Saturday morning when my husband – who I miss so much, and I, drive home.

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I have wanted to blog this entire experience, but it all feels so braggy- and I’m not trying to brag, or to gloat, or to rub anything in anyones’ faces- and so I’ve kept my adventures pretty much on the DL. (until now I guess because no man is an island, or something…) I have been INSANELY LUCKY. I have (had? had.) a financial situation that allowed these once-in-a-lifetime shenanigans, I have a husband who is so fricking cool and who takes my crazy ideas in stride, my kids are old enough to handle my extended absence, and I found myself without a job, but with enough money to do something crazy stupid fun.

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the sky today.

so here I am, with my giant sliding door open to a body of water posted with a sign about not touching the alligators and watching out for poisonous snakes, the sun was brilliant all day, it has been the warmest day since I got here, I finished reading my first book of vacation and started my second- which I plan to finish tonight while the State of the Union is going on. Feel free to text me when I should take a drink. I’ll open a bottle of rosé.

thirty seconds of honesty – I didn’t watch the super bowl this year. I’m feeling conflicted about football and it’s racism and the exploitation of black athletes and the brain damage it inflicts and I love my sports teams but I wasn’t feeling it this year.

what I *am*, however, is in Disney World. where Tom Brady and Julian Edelman were yesterday. with Mickey Mouse. on a parade float that shot confetti. so OBVIOUSLY I had to go to that, and it was awesome.

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I highly recommend living in Disney World – it is the shit. a couple of weeks ago a new frozen drink came out in Norway, I read about it online and the next day I was drinking it. 10/10 would recommend.

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Troll Cream – dragon berry rum, cranberry slush, whipped cream. I think I’ll have another one tomorrow.

 

part of my thinking behind this whole vacation was to see if I would get tired of Disney. the answer is no. I would like to live here all the time please. I’m not good at a lot of things, but I am really forking good at Disney. making that a career somehow would be ideal, whatcha got? I need ideas.

here are some photos.

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stoppit. my sister came to visit and we met Edna FRICKING Mode. and she loved me, because we are twins. obvi.

my oldest daughter drove down with me, two of my besties just spent last weekend with me, my sister came for a week – we met Edna Mode, and went to Gasparilla, and did an after hours party.

in the last month I’ve been able to attend After Hours events in the 3 parks where they are available – and they are AMAZING. you get the park to yourself, which is pretty much the dream, right?

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empty Magic Kingdom for the After Hours event.

I don’t even remember where I was going with this – and I ALREADY want to write another whole thing about more of the fun things I have been able to do. We’ll see.

I’ve got to go find some dinner, and then I have to find a warehouse space, and an inventory, and a plan for the next phase of my life that will allow me to pay for my kids to go to college and maybe one day to be able to retire to Florida with my cute husband. nbd.

 

xoxo

 

some favorites thursday – miscellany edition.

(I originally typed: misandry edition. because it is the end of a very long 2018 so why not.)

1 – 2 – 3 – 4 ?

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ah – ah – ah

 

Imma stream of consciousness this post today.

 


 

this doesn’t count as a favorite…

since when is the green lifesaver watermelon? I bought my first roll of non butterscotch lifesavers in easily… I mean, when did they have the mini holes candies? because that long.

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1990. the last time I bought lifesavers was a hot minute ago.

 


 

 

but speaking of misandry (which is also not a favorite) – I had a whole ‘year of the woman writer’ in 2018. Not every voice was perfect but I’m OVER (over over over) boob-dimensional female characters written by men.

I got NO sleep last night because I couldn’t stop reading this book. It was ridiculous and as all over the place as this blog will be today. so it is fitting I include it.

Never AloneNever Alone by Elizabeth Haynes

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

(closer to 3-1/2 stars) I enjoyed this book, I stayed up until 2 this morning reading it, it was fast paced and interesting – but it was also incredibly frustrating. The men in Sarah’s life were atrocious, she makes terrible decisions, her dogs need leashes, her doors need locks. Beyond that though, solid storytelling with a likable, albeit infuriating, main character.

 



 

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I look EVERYTHING up.

before the internet I was a big fan of the card catalogue, the encyclopedia, the reference book. I need to know things and with this glorious anxiety the more information I have the better – how often should I blog? how do I blog? how do I say no to someone who asks to be a houseguest? what is a triple net lease? how do I tell my coworkers I’m leaving my job? what is the difference between an LLC and a Sole Proprietorship? how do I start an art collection? what are the hipster neighborhoods in Orlando? where are the best brunch spots in Orlando? when will there be a Chuy’s in Massachusetts? what information should be on a business card? how do you name a company?

see what I did there? I still haven’t figured out how to tell all of my coworkers that I’m leaving my job at the end of the year.

I love this job, I love this company, I love my coworkers. But it is time for a change.

I’m starting my own company, staying in the industry I’ve been working in for the last 5 years. I’m taking January and February off, I’ve rented a place in Florida for 5 weeks, and I am going to bust out some strategy in the sunshine. (14 miles from the Magic Kingdom because who are we kidding?) I’m freaking the fork out. But I’m 42 and next year both of my kids will be in college, it is time to figure out what I’m going to do when I grow up.

at least until I become an archaeologist.

 




 

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living coral. is it a color? a call to environmental action? the antithesis of the orange detritus inhabiting the white house? a reminder that the sun will come out tomorrow? am I reading too much into this?

everything is political. with the exception of, like, the president of the united states, he’s just a ruinous piece of garbage. Pantone’s color of the year was announced yesterday and even that announcement felt political.

From their announcement:

Introducing the Pantone Color of the Year 2019, PANTONE 16-1546 Living Coral – an animating and life-affirming coral hue with a golden undertone that energizes and enlivens with a softer edge. Sociable and spirited, the engaging nature of Living Coral welcomes and encourages lighthearted activity. Symbolizing our innate need for optimism and joyful pursuits, Living Coral embodies our desire for playful expression. #COY2019

I want lighthearted activity. Remember lighthearted activity?

 

 

brb, gotta figure out how to tell my coworkers I’m leaving the company at the end of the year…

xoxo

holidaying my feelings – why is there so much crap in my house? edition

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we decorated EARLY this year and I’m not sorry.

It’s weird to get to a place where you don’t want anything. but I don’t. I don’t want a single thing. I have EVERYTHING I need. I have MORE THAN I NEED.  I am getting rid of things at a steady pace.

part of the particular nature/nurture strain of anxiety/depression that I inherited from my father leads to purging. I try to be very conscious of what I get rid of because I want to make sure I have art my kids made in kindergarten, or baby photos, or my husband’s letterman jacket. dad was a reckless purger so there are things from my childhood that I would have preferred to not end up in a dumpster while I was in college… like anything from my childhood. Ten points to the X-ers in charge of our entertainment, because I can at least have NEW things of whatever things I don’t have from my childhood. Jem? Good Luck Bear? A Vintage style My Little Pony? A fricking Zoom birthday record?! They exist again and I could have all of those things.

but I don’t want them.

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tea, cake, making lists. some of my favorites.

so right, while the holidays approach, and Winter is Coming, and I really want to start getting my house renovated, and things are happening in my professional life that I can’t/haven’t told everyone about yet… I’m fucking stressed out. I’m also really fucking depressed. I said that out loud to myself in the car the other day. “I am really fucking depressed” and the moment of acknowledging my feelings for what they are… it helped. I mean, Wellbutrin helps more, but recognition is important.

and I need to get a dumpster which currently has me REALLY worried because I do want to get rid of every.fucking.thing. in my house.

I speak only for myself and my own experiences with depression but if I had to make a list of things I “want” or “need” for Christmas right now they would include: socks, a throw blanket or four, a magically clean kitchen and front hallway unaccompanied by the sounds of angry cleaning, new toss pillows for the couch, cake, dark curtains in my bedroom for naps, naps, for my house to smell like a Christmas tree, candles in every room, having the dining room table completely clear… chocolate. See’s or Phillip’s Candy House especially. The soft ones with fruity creme centers. Or a trip to Disney. But mostly I need Hygge.

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I want Hygge for Christmas.

xoxo

 

Three Favorites Thursday – distracted and anxious edition.

I’m waiting to hear if there’s a cement truck stuck in the mud of my backyard. We’ve had SO MUCH RAIN and they’re going to pour the cement pad for my studio today – and then the studio gets delivered tomorrow. And as of lunchtime, today has EASILY been three days long, with the first of those two days occurring between 7:28 and 9:30am. My right eye won’t stop twitching, which makes me think I need: 1. to relax because this isn’t my circus anymore. and 2. botox, because we all know I’m not going to stop stressing out, so the next best thing is just to paralyze those bitches into submission.

simplefavorI’m reading A Simple Favor, which I’m enjoying immensely even if the narrator is a HOT MESS. It is one of those “domestic thrillers” where no character is particularly likable. Our unreliable narrator is a blogger and a wannabe-super-mom who needs a lot of outside approval and I pretty much hate her and her blog and her writing style and I want to punch her in the face. So if you find yourself wanting to punch ME in the face you should tell me. I’m not likely to change my writing style though- this disjointed addiction to terrible grammar, loose capitalization, and incomplete sentences has been carefully honed over 40 years of desperately ignoring English teachers and refusing to diagram a single sentence correctly. Tense! Structure! Run-on! all the red pencil markings.

 

 

 

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So today I’m calming my tits in my newest Thirdlove bra – I fricking love these bras. The lining is just squishy enough to keep things smooth, the straps are comfortable, they’re supportive, they wash well and they’re pretty. I have a few of them. (or 6, I have 6)  The commercials all talk about how women are racing home after work to take their bras off – this is not true in my case. I’m a bra wearer. I like them, I want the girls supported at all times.  Those cami tanks with the built in shelf bra? I love those for sleeping. Everything’s gotta be strapped in or I’m going to be cranky and then I’m going to sleep like shit and then EVERYONE will be cranky. I’ll make sure of it.

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it’s so pretty! 

Pretty sure this link gives you $30 off your first bra. Which is a pretty good deal. It also gives me $30 off my next bra. Which is also a pretty good deal.

 

 

 

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HOLY MOTHER FORKING SHIRT BALLS, y’all. The Good Place is back next Thursday! (the 27th) Eleanor Shellstrop is one of my favorite fictional humans ever. She’s so terrible and flawed and funny and I really want her to get her shirt figured right the heck out. The first 2 seasons are available to watch on Netflix. The episodes are short- it’s a sitcom- they’re like 17 minutes of pure distilled 100 proof joy. The cast is outstanding, the storyline is stupid and wonderful and I love it.

Watching this show makes me feel better, it’s like a mini vacation from the worlds ugly bullshirt.

 

 

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Big girl pants! I’m in the dress version of Mickey Mouse right now – black and white polka dots with a scalloped v-neckline, red Tieks and a bright yellow necklace from Manic Trout. I love this whole outfit, it is fun. But most days lately I want to wear a pair of Wit & Wisdom AbSolution pants with a t-shirt (from Universal Standard), blazer and my Rothy’s. These pants are RIDICULOUS.

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I know I’ve talked about these before – I’ve gotten a couple of pairs in my Trunk Club Trunks.

We aren’t allowed to wear jeans in the office but these pants are cut like jeans, and feel like the most comfortable pair of jeans- I love them. They’re even comfortable for road trips and flights and I might have worn the same pair of black ones every day last week. (I washed them, but only because I absolutely had to.)

Then this weekend I discovered that I own two pairs of the black ones, I’ve got at least 3 of the white, a pair of olive, some camo… I like finding them on Poshmark for WAY less than they sell for at Nordstrom.  You’re using Poshmark, right?

 

 

Here’s hoping the 2nd half of this day is only three hours long, and not several more days. I need Friday.

xoxo

 

 

 

 

Pretending to Shop.

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Not my front door. (but a reasonable facsimile)

We moved our oldest into her dorm yesterday. And on Thursday our youngest starts her senior year of high school. I should never shop again with the tuition payments I have to look forward to but I pretty much bought the internet last week – so this week I’m not buying anything.

But if I were, here’s what I’d get:

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I have these boots in black suede from last year and I think I wore them 3 days a week. From my maternal grandmother I inherited the calves of a professional soccer player, she loved her giant calves, I struggle with feelings about my own but I’m trying- they work hard and let me walk super fast. But they make it hard to find boots, I’d rather shop for a bathing suit than a pair of boots. I get sweaty and cranky. So I usually wear ankle boots. But the Calypso boot changed all that.  Look at that stretchy back panel – I love these so much! And this year they’re in leather! I need them.

Just not today. (I did put them into a shopping cart on Friday though, and have gotten a couple of emails from Sole Society with coupons to get me to pull the trigger. We are at 15% right now, it gets to 20% I might not be able to control myself…)

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Having a fight or flight reaction that leads to lots of shopping AND the mass ingestion of Haribo Berries – is not doing my wallet or my blood sugar any favors.

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But speaking of eating my feelings, I would also have bought myself a couple of boxes of See’s Vanilla Chocolate Chip chocolates. “but Erin, they’re only 5.99”  you’re adorable, I’d get at least 2, and while I was there I’d probably put together a custom 2 pound box. and did you know that you can buy bags of baking chocolate chips? because you can. And just like that…

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…I’ve spent 115$ on chocolates.

The end of summer is an inevitability. Boots and cute jackets make the 45 minutes that is the Fall season much easier to accept. HOW CUTE IS THIS JACKET from Torrid?! I love it. And on sale. And faux leather, so when fall gets rainy (like it does) or snowy (because New England) you can wear it without worrying that you’re going to turn into your very own Seinfeld episode.

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Yesterday I got an email from Universal Standard (yep, that’s a referral link) to tell me they’d launched a few new dresses that have my damn name ALL OVER THEM. I really really want this dress.  

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Because HELLO perfect perfect dress. Which at $80 is 1/3 the price of similar Eileen Fisher dresses.

There were more things, I put at least three other things in shopping carts across the internet today, but I don’t remember any of them, so I’m glad I didn’t actually get them!

stilllivesTwo things I DID buy though – I got a copy of Still Lives by Maria Hummel which I am very excited to read. I’m usually anti book-club-books because of the Cult of Oprah and her books all being ‘tragic stories of the triumph of the human spirit’. NO. get away from me with that. But the books that Reece Witherspoon has been scooping up to turn into movies and shows have been awesome. So I’m giving this one a shot. I’ve been ALL ABOUT books written by women, and thrillers. So you should read it with me and we can talk about it later. But not like a book-club because my brain will turn the read into homework.

And I also bought a digital copy of Oceans 8. Because of Cate Blanchett’s wardrobe. And Awkwafina. and my deep abiding love for Sandra Bullock movies. And the whole cast is flawless. I enjoyed it very much. It got shit reviews and yeah, I’m going to say that a great deal of that is just bullshit sexism.  So watch it, it’ll be fun.

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What have you been eyeing but not buying?

xoxo

 

 

Three Favorites Thursday. v2.

It has already been a week and I have NOTHING to show for it other than that I’m down a tooth and have never wanted a steak more than I do right now. But like I said in my first ever post – everything is my favorite – so I can always find 3 things to share with y’all.

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Hint Water. I am an advertiser’s dream audience. I read a story in Forbes about how when Karen Goldin, founder of Hint, approached Coca Cola to sell her company one of the execs called her “sweetie”, after which point she decided to go it on her own and I’ve been getting two cases delivered every other week since then.  I used to drink a LOT of Coke, and I still love it, but now it’s a legit treat and not a thing I’m addicted to (I’ve weaned myself off of any caffeine addiction) and I think Hint had something to do with that. It just tastes so good, and my kidneys are so much happier with all of the hydration.

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Pineapple, blackberry and watermelon are my favorites. I felt personally victimized by the caffeinated Lemon Cayenne.

Heck yes, I have a discount code for you.  $10 off of your first case.  You can get individual bottles at places like Target, and likely your grocery store. Find your favorite and try a case. (the Fizz is also really good!)

 

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I’m like a pre-schooler, wrapping things I find in my house to give to my parents for Christmas. I’m just looking around my house and through my phone to come up with my ideas. (I’m drinking a watermelon Hint while I type this.)

I have a couple of things for #2, and they are both “Things that smell like the beach” so I’ll just say Things that Smell like the Beach are my favorite.

miamibeachFirst is Lush Sea Salt Spray – I fricking love it, it smells like the beach – sand, sun, the ocean, sunscreen… in the summertime I don’t like to blow dry my hair so Sea Salt Spray gets liberal use. In the wintertime I miss the sun so I used it a lot then too…

Second is Bobbi Brown’s Beach perfume. If I have a scent that I want people to associate with me (other than tacos or brownies) it would be this perfume.

Those are both awesome, if you know of other delicious beach scented things for me let me know and I’ll buy them. Things that would make my house smell like the beach would especially be appreciated!

 

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And the third thing that I can’t live without. (right now) The writing styles of Ilona Andrews. Ilona Andrews is actually the pen name of a husband/wife writing duo from Texas who write some straight up delicious urban fantasy garbage. The kinds of books that make me extra glad to be reading on a Kindle Paperwhite because the have covers that look like this:

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Book 3 in the Hidden Legacies series. I’m reading this right now. It is terrible and I love it.

I was introduced to them through the now-dissolved Vaginal Fantasy Book Club which was the brain child of Felicia Day, Bonnie Burton, Veronica Belmont and Kiara Kazebee. Clean Sweep was an alternate pick one month and I loved it. It is about a witch who is an innkeeper at a B&B in Texas – her guests are intergalactic travelers and werewolves. These books are SO FUN. They do have some sexytimes (way more in the Hidden Legacies series than in the Innkeeper Chronicles for sure, blushable levels for sure) so if that is going to be an issue then I can recommend some other things I’ve been enjoying lately. (a series of cozy mysteries about a shopkeeper in Amish country, with titles like: A Churn for the Worse, for example)

So – there are my Three Thursday Favorites for this week. I’m off to finish this ridiculous book.

xoxo