Packing for Imaginary Vacations. (when I have an actual vacation to pack for)

Y’all. on the 9th I had to have a tooth extracted and then this weekend I cracked a tooth on the OTHER side of my mouth – on an egg salad sandwich. So it was the tooth’s time to go I guess. So, I’m still not really eating anything delicious. But! Today someone brought a bag of fun sized candy bars to the office and there are Three Musketeers bars- which are definitely my speed right now.

So I ordered three boxes of chocolates from See’s.  And technically I bought extra to share but I might keep all three for myself because the world is shitty right now and I’m a sucker for a berry creme chocolate. And chocolate in general. And pretty much anything I can eat without worrying that I’m going to stab myself in the gums or break another tooth. (my teeth aren’t all this fragile, just those two.)

I have no regrets,  #becausechocolate

I got an email today with this dress in it. I’m not buying it because like I said – dental work – and also I’m currently pretending that I’m going to Egypt for 17 days in January/February. THOUGH. if I were going to Egypt this dress seems like it could be amazing with a giant hat to wear onboard the Sonesta Star Goddess as we travel up the Nile. Oh… I’m definitely putting together a fake packing list Pinterest board for my fake adventure through Egypt.  hang on…

ok. done.

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the dress:

handpainted dress
perfect, right? I especially love the styling with the shoes.

Anyways, like I said- I’m going on actual vacation on Saturday. I’m going to Disneyland! Don’t roll your eyes at me, I know I was in Disney World last month but this is different. I’ve never been to Disneyland! And everyone is going – Dave, the girls, my sister and her husband and my nephew, and the girls are each bringing a friend… it is a Disney field trip of the highest order. AND. we are doing a VIP tour because it stresses me out to be responsible for other people’s vacations – so to make sure we cover everything… getting a plaid. Wicked excited.

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I’ve been making the same list over and over this week – tweaking it a little each time. But yesterday morning it occurred to me that I’m bringing a big-ass-suitcase because I’m NOT stressing out about fitting my outfits and shoes into a little suitcase to prove that I can. That’s not fun at all.

How do I pack for Disneyland? Is it weird that I’m looking at strangers’ Instas to see what people are wearing in their photos?

AND THEN…

news breaks that Justice Kennedy is retiring and there goes all of my travel excitement and actual anxiety hits and none of this fun silly stuff matters.

 

I picked the wrong administration to start a blog about shopping.

action-alert

Call your senators. 

xoxo

 

 

Three Favorites Thursday. v3.

This week has not been conducive to lighthearted blog posts. I’ve started a few but every one of them turned into a screed. A justified and completely logical screed but still… so so angry.

So today among my favorite things are the people who will stand between this administration and the people they mean to harm, the people who are speaking up and out, and the helpers, also teenagers for setting a good example of self appreciation.

 

 

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RAICES Texas and their Bond Fund.

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Donate to the fund HERE.

What is RAICES?

“The Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services is a nonprofit organization that provides free and low-cost legal services to immigrant children, families and refugees in Central and South Texas.”

They are on the front line of getting these families reunited and with the summer refugee immigration surge just beginning they are needed now more than ever.

 

 

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Empathy, Activism, Protest.

Everyone is exhausted. Everyone thought that they couldn’t possibly maintain this level of outrage for going on 2 years now. And yet here we are. Marching, protesting, emailing our representatives so often that I just automatically recycle the response letters I get now. So many donations, so many emails from so many activist groups… it helps me feel like we aren’t alone, like these daily atrocities are not going unnoticed, unaccounted for.

I’m also a person who keeps rolls of stamps now because books just don’t cover it anymore. Because sometimes you can’t make a phone call, and a post-card sends the perfect little message.

Luckily I know a lot of creative women who have designed their own cards – like these:

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Polkadot Paper Company post cards can be purchased from her Etsy store.

and these!

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These are new and I am EXCITED. Get yours from Fisk & Fern here. (profits go to the ACLU!) 

 

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Finally –  National Selfie Day.

Girls are constantly being mocked for taking selfies, for sharing pictures of themselves, for LIKING pictures of themselves. How messed up is that?!  Now that our national embarrassment is an actual narcissist in the White House can we stop calling teenaged girls narcissists for taking selfies?

I get that women and girls are supposed to BE pretty but not KNOW we’re pretty, it makes us easier to belittle and control that way- but where’s the fun in that for us?

If you’re feeling your look, take a damn selfie, post it. Turns out not hating how you look is rebellious and incredibly political.

Why yes, I am about to post a bevy of selfies… (two with Manic Trout necklaces, two in Disney, one also with my new amazing Weighted Blanket which we can talk about later.)

 

Send a post card, be heard, post a selfie, be seen.

xoxo

Trying Something New (color! swimsuits!)

 

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And they know I do laundry, so I don’t stink, and that’s also a bonus. 

Y’all. I love wearing black. Don’t you ever marvel at the memes people share with you because they reminded them of you? I love that. For me those things are Disney, Jello Shots, Nail Polish and Black Clothing.

For example, every time this –> makes the rounds I get tagged at least four or five times and I love it, because it is true, and because it is awesome to know that people are thinking of me!

In the past – both recent and distant – when non-black items come into my wardrobe it is almost always because the black in my size was sold out, or it was much more expensive, and so I think to myself: “Now is the time! let’s buy these boots in brown, I wear brown now!” No. No I don’t. I don’t wear sky-blue cashmere hoodies because they were on clearance at Lord and Taylor, those things always get returned.

Until this year.
shoppingforspringIn February I went on a cruise for a week and I decided it was time to add some color back into my warm-weather wardrobe. I started with a bathing suit. It is pink and purple and blue, there are flowers- I ordered it, and about 4 other suits, from Swimsuits For All. The other suits were all black, and I kept the colorful one and returned the safe, “flattering” (UGH, another post for another day) suits that guarantee that my fat self on the beach doesn’t get noticed. Like women over a certain age, women over a certain weight are supposed to keep that shit locked down. “I don’t want to have to see…”* is the common refrain of the a-hole who thinks they get a say in what other people wear. But not this year.  On that beach in Jamaica, drinking Red Stripe and getting the worst sunburn I’ve ever had, I was wishing my suit was NEON.  *(Here’s a hint, if you ever hear yourself saying “I don’t want to have to see…” STOP LOOKING. no one is making you do anything.)

I still don’t have a neon suit but I just remembered that from returning the safe black bathing suits I had a big credit for Swimsuits for All, which brings us to the shopping part… I just bought THIS and I am going full on Poison Ivy at the pool this summer.

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How amazing is this suit?! 

I have a discount code for you! 40% off if you use my link– consider signing up for emails as well because there is NEVER a reason to pay full price at Swimsuits for All, they have great sales pretty much all the time. But a tip- if you return things – don’t use their shipping label. Because then they refund in store credit rather than to your original form of payment. Which is less convenient for sure.

Rock it and be seen.

xoxo

Reclaiming Middle Age and Defying Sexist Anti-Aging Rules.

There was this piece in the Boston Globe last night about how we need to rebrand Middle Age for the generation who started calling Meditation  –  Mindfulness.

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by Beth Teitell

I turned 42 last week and now I have a bunion forming on my left foot. It hurt for the first time yesterday. There could be a whole post here about how my feet have always been my favorite feature and how I’m freaking out about losing my one physically attractive bit but that’s some shit I need to work through. My feet are still cute as heck but the rest of me isn’t bad either.

To mitigate the damage, however, I spent some time last weekend starting to edit my closet. Especially deleting uncomfortable heels. (You can have my Franco Sarto wedges when you pry them off my cold dead feet, but I’m setting the Rachel Roy studded snakeskin stilettos loose on Poshmark soon.)

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The Franco Sarto Frankie Wedge.  I have them in every color.

I don’t want my forties and fifties – my sixties- let’s be honest – any age ever, to be wished away in longing for my twenties and thirties. I want to understand and appreciate this age for what it is. And in the same way that people enthusiastically took back “fat” or “queer” or even the conversation about mental illness – reclaiming the power of those words for ourselves – maybe it is time to do the same for “middle aged”.  Or as Lisa Nagel in the Globe article calls it “mid-century modern”.

Women age, and we are told that as we age we become less valuable, less interesting, less desirable. We should be grateful for being given jobs, for being given attention, we should be quiet, motherly, soft, or we should be doing everything we can possibly do to pretend we are 10 years younger, suffering to be something else. Fuck. That. Noise. I do what I want. “Anti-Aging” is a trap – we are supposed to be panicking that someone younger is going to come along and replace us. We are supposed to put up with a stagnant job because we are lucky to get what we get.

There was an awesome piece in the New York Times last year by Ashton Applewhite about the BS “Anti-Aging Demon” and the way we disempower ourselves and each other when we compete viciously in a game where we aren’t even willing participants.

Appearance matters. Adornment pleases. But society’s obsession with the way women look is less about beauty than about obedience to a punishing external standard — and power. When women compete to “stay young,” we collude in our own disempowerment. When we rank other women by age, we reinforce ageism, sexism, lookism and patriarchy. What else we can we all agree on? This is one bad bargain. It sets us up to fail. It pits us against one another. It’s why the poorest of the poor, around the world, are old women of color.

Much in the same way that rich white men make billions of dollars a year on our dissatisfaction with our weight, other rich white men make billions of dollars a year on our dissatisfaction with our age.  Overturning those apple carts would be really satisfying.

I am just barely scratching at the surface of what should be a daily conversation. So get ready – there will be a lot more of this. In the meantime I’m following Ashton Applewhite’s Facebook page: This Chair Rocks. Join me!