three favorites thursday – ‘cyber week’ edition.

cyberweek
who has two thumbs and didn’t know ‘cyber week’ was a thing? this guy.

Cyber Week. evidently that’s a thing now.  Because the onslaught of one time only, limited availability, lowest discount of the season, get it now or you will ruin the holidays forever, isn’t enough on Black Friday and Cyber Monday. It’s Cyber Thursday, do you know where your children are? (and THAT’S how old I am)

I haven’t really done any ‘cyber week’ shopping – I keep thinking I want to, filling up shopping carts, but then abandoning them. But I did find a few things that I think will make excellent presents.


 

uno

Lin Manuel Miranda. He’s a gift to all of us already, but now his inspirational Gmorning, Gnight messages are illustrated in their own fabulous little book. I have so far purchased three copies of it but reserve the right to give it to EVERYONE this Christmas.

gmorning

your children FOR SURE need this. their teachers might also. siblings. aunts and uncles. the postal worker who delivers all of your packages – you fiend. you need it, your spouse. the world. the world needs this book.

Get one.

LMM’s website (Tee Rico) also has Gnight PAJAMAS. because who doesn’t need a sleep shirt or cozy pants?

 

 



 

 

rosegold2

my very very favorite eyeshadow palette. I have LOTS of palettes, drawers full, it’s obscene. and usually I wear one color (that isn’t even in this palette) (Urban Decay Lounge)  But when I’m not being lazy I bust out the Tartlette In Bloom Palette.

inbloom
neutral but rosy but shimmery but sophisticated

Right now Macy’s has a 15% off code (FRIEND) which makes this just over 33$. BUT if you use Ebates (which you fricking should, and if you don’t please sign up with my link!) today everything at Macy’s will get you 10% cash back.

 

brush

My favorite eyeshadow brush. the only one I ever ever use and the only one you will ever ever need. (unless you’re wicked fancy in which case I can’t help you) is from Coastal Scents, it is the BR-C-N02 a Medium, Classic, Natural brush and it is a WORKHORSE. I have been using, washing, using, washing, the same brush for at least 5 years.

If you know and love and shop for makeup wearers this will be their favorite stocking stuffer. If you combine it with In Bloom you’ll win Christmas.

 

 




 

 

threethree

unrelated to Christmas shopping, other than that you need sustenance to keep you going, my other favorite thing this cyber week is Trader Joe’s Spanakopita Pie.  I’m on my second one for the week already and I have no regrets. TJ’s was sold out of tzatziki when I went so I had to go to my regular grocery store to get some, because it’s the other best part of this meal.

spanakopita
you’re going to want to get one of these today. maybe get 2.

it’s that perfect amount of salty and flaky and still feels like you’re eating healthy because the thing is full of spinach. Plus it’s pie. It’s the best of all possible worlds.

I am starving right now.


 

So that’s what I’ve got. Good Luck tomorrow on Cyber Friday and through what I assume will be the Cyber Weekend…?

 

xoxo

holidaying my feelings – why is there so much crap in my house? edition

treeatnight
we decorated EARLY this year and I’m not sorry.

It’s weird to get to a place where you don’t want anything. but I don’t. I don’t want a single thing. I have EVERYTHING I need. I have MORE THAN I NEED.  I am getting rid of things at a steady pace.

part of the particular nature/nurture strain of anxiety/depression that I inherited from my father leads to purging. I try to be very conscious of what I get rid of because I want to make sure I have art my kids made in kindergarten, or baby photos, or my husband’s letterman jacket. dad was a reckless purger so there are things from my childhood that I would have preferred to not end up in a dumpster while I was in college… like anything from my childhood. Ten points to the X-ers in charge of our entertainment, because I can at least have NEW things of whatever things I don’t have from my childhood. Jem? Good Luck Bear? A Vintage style My Little Pony? A fricking Zoom birthday record?! They exist again and I could have all of those things.

but I don’t want them.

hygge
tea, cake, making lists. some of my favorites.

so right, while the holidays approach, and Winter is Coming, and I really want to start getting my house renovated, and things are happening in my professional life that I can’t/haven’t told everyone about yet… I’m fucking stressed out. I’m also really fucking depressed. I said that out loud to myself in the car the other day. “I am really fucking depressed” and the moment of acknowledging my feelings for what they are… it helped. I mean, Wellbutrin helps more, but recognition is important.

and I need to get a dumpster which currently has me REALLY worried because I do want to get rid of every.fucking.thing. in my house.

I speak only for myself and my own experiences with depression but if I had to make a list of things I “want” or “need” for Christmas right now they would include: socks, a throw blanket or four, a magically clean kitchen and front hallway unaccompanied by the sounds of angry cleaning, new toss pillows for the couch, cake, dark curtains in my bedroom for naps, naps, for my house to smell like a Christmas tree, candles in every room, having the dining room table completely clear… chocolate. See’s or Phillip’s Candy House especially. The soft ones with fruity creme centers. Or a trip to Disney. But mostly I need Hygge.

Hygge-2

I want Hygge for Christmas.

xoxo

 

I only really like my cervix if I don’t have to think about it.

obgyn

Due to an atrocious OBGYN several years ago who equated every single problem I had with my weight I had a Soviet Era copper IUD that was old enough to vote. It wasn’t really Soviet Era, it WAS pre-9/11, and to be fair it voted Democrat but it still had to go.

The removal process 9 days ago was hellish. Hellish. I yelled at one point, out loud, and then started crying. I mean… she stuck a needle in my cervix. Without any warning. I don’t recommend it. It made half my face go numb and my nose bleed. That’s some fucked up reverse acupuncture FOR SURE. Leading up to this she had given me a prescription for something that was supposed to soften my cervix to make the thing easier, and in my defense the pharmacist didn’t mention that it was supposed to be inserted – the instructions were “take one tablet night before procedure”. Also it said “take with food”. These made me think that I should eat something and then swallow the pill. I was wrong.

I have a very high tolerance for pain. Like really very high. 36 hours of back labor followed by delivery without any drugs. Kidney stones without any drugs. An injection in the cervix without any drugs. rooting around in my uterus looking for a little piece of copper without any drugs.

The insertion process wasn’t much better, because evidently there are corners and switchbacks involved because it turns out that my uterus is literally upside-down and backwards and on its side, and in an entirely different building, the pathway looks like Lombard St, which isn’t something that anyone felt the need to tell me, the owner of the uterus. I said: “oh, so is that why I only had back labor?” and she said “yes, I can’t believe no one warned you”. My youngest is 18 so it’s been too long to be feeling THIS DAMN SALTY, but no, no one told me. Why would anyone tell the terrified 23 year old what is causing her pain?

Where am I going with this? I don’t remember. But today I’ve got a shiny new IUD, loaded with hormones that might even help with my The Shining Elevator style periods I’ve been having for the last 15 years. Which, coincidently had NOTHING to do with my fucking weight.

disneyholiday

and in case you’re wondering – once I get home and put on the most comfortable damn joggers in the WORLD (which yeah, I do think are worth the stupid high price tag.) I’m going to shop alllllll these feelings away in the form of Disney Holiday Decorations. (and vanilla milkshakes with butterscotch schnapps. #butterscotchberns )

 

three favorites thursday – phoning it in on friday edition

I just signed in to write this post and it offered me the option to post on any of my 3 blogs that I have through wordpress. I didn’t remember that I had 3. one of them is called ‘365 days to disney’ which is adorable. and also- how did I not keep up with a full on disneycentric blog?! I’ve got problems.

for anyone keeping track at home we got home from Disney on Monday and my next trip is in… 49 days. So maybe I should change the name of that blog to ‘spoiledass disney princess goes to disney too much’ – though I could change the name of THIS blog to that as well.

bless me father for I have sinned, it has been 15 days since my last blog post, and these are my badly thought out favorites.

 

 

numberone

Recreational marijuana is about to be legal in Massachusetts. But that’s not my favorite part. THIS article from the Boston Globe  is my favorite part.

Screen Shot 2018-11-15 at 9.05.34 AMonly in Massachusetts do we need a newspaper article to help us get over our puritan anxiety about not looking like a moron when we go to buy legal weed for the first time. And I for one say – thank you Boston Globe! because it just means that I’m not the only person who wouldn’t try it because I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.

also covered in that piece : what it will cost, how to order, how to pay, where to store it, what to do if you have a bad high. not mentioned: hot chocolate or something sweet.

 

 

number2

reading.

I’ve written about specific books once or twice I think – currently I’m reading The Party by Lisa Hall – I go through phases, and right now I’m in a Domestic Noir phase-

Oprah’s book club put me off celebrity book clubs – but then Felicia Day’s Vaginal Fantasy book club happened and restored my faith in them. So when I saw that Reece Witherspoon’s book club had recommended a book that I LOVED (The Lying Game by Ruth Ware) I thought she might have some good stuff to suggest.

 

And she does! Thanks to her book club I just finished The Other Woman by Sandie Jones. It was ridiculous, a good, fast read. I have hated going to work this week because I JUST WANT TO BE HOME READING.  Maybe wearing a toasty pair of footie sweat-pants.

But not only has reading been my favorite but the recent freedom experienced by putting down a book that was DRAGGING MY ASS DOWN has been my favorite. I read an article in the Harvard Business Review about how to read more books – and one of the suggestions was to drop a book when it starts being a chore. Obviously that doesn’t apply if you’re reading for work, or school, but if you’re reading for fun? Put that bench down and find another!

are you on goodreads? I am. you should friend me so I can stalk your reading list. I’m always on the lookout for my next favorite book.

 

 

number3

I can’t think of anything to make #3. which is funny because like I said in my first ever post: everything is my favorite.

so while we’re talking about reading I’ll list a couple of my favorite mental health and feminist influencers.

Like Cranky Fat Feminist.

and Jes Baker (The Militant Baker.)

oooh or Virgie Tovar. Maybe especially Virgie Tovar. She’s incredible. and she’s everywhere, like contributing to Forbes, like a boss.

or The Bloggess.  especially especially her most recent blog post about Asha Dornfest’s blog post about dusting off our blogs and writing the things, uniting people over ideas and generally screaming together into the Aether while we save America and one another.  AND and and. the comments on the Bloggess’ post are LOADED with links to other blogs. so go read, and follow, and let’s save America by rebuilding communities of ideas.

 


so- that’s what I’ve got. I’m especially enjoying the very Friday nature of this three favorites for Thursday. have a great weekend. read all the things.

xoxo

bucket-list my feelings. archaeology edition.

y’all. all I ever ever wanted to be growing up was an archaeologist. or paleontologist. or anthropologist. or a combination of those three. I didn’t, because…  reasons… some having to do with a super conservative upbringing where women have a specific role and it doesn’t involve digging in the Valley of the Kings. and also an enormous lack of self confidence. and a general fear of getting the thing that I want. and my college counselor telling me she would’t write me a recommendation to the schools with the good archaeology departments.

“why would you want to do all of that work, when you’ll know all the answers when you get to heaven anyways?”  (not a quote from my guidance counselor, just a thing I was told growing up.) but what the actual fork?!

ancient-architecture-camel-931881
Photo by Simon Matzinger from Pexels

 

the point – I’ve stopped listening to MSNBC in the car, and while I miss Nicole Wallace and the righteous rage of Steve Schmidt I don’t miss the anxiety or Joe Scarborough’s pompous snark. So what have I been listening to instead? Glad you asked. I’ve been listening to National Geographic’s: The Great Courses.  Specifically Archaeology: An Introduction to the World’s Greatest Sites. Which, I did NOT pay 234.95 for, I used a single Audible credit. (14.95) And while I feel a little jealous when he is obviously showing images to the camera I also feel like I can put the $220.00 that I saved towards my Nile River Cruise in 2022.

it is a FANTASTIC listen, and one I highly recommend. Chapter 10 is “How do you excavate at a site?” and he goes into specific things like tools (Marshalltown Trowels, everyone should bring their own) to pick axes. (provided at the site).  at one point he says something about how his dig volunteers are mostly students but they’re not all students. sometimes they’re retired doctors or people who want to check ‘archaeological dig’ off of their bucket list. at which point, 5 minutes from the office, at 7:30 in the morning, I’m crying in my car.

I can do that! I’m 42 and the fact that I’m not an archaeologist is 100% on me now and next year we will have 2 kids in college so volunteering on a dig sounds about my speed.

You can come with me if you want.

ancient-archaeology-architecture-631339
Photo by Frans Van Heerden from Pexels

Happy Halloween! xoxo

sunday morning coming down

as I start this it is 8:19 AM. I’ve put my sheets into the wash because I found a giant dead wood beetle UNDER WHERE I WAS SLEEPING this morning. (sunday is bedding day anyways but I was hoping to put it off while I watched some netflix and wrote this post, but no, I’m a beetle murder in my sleep so new plan…) it is raining so I have some hope that it will stay bleak enough to facilitate day-watching of Haunting of Hill House while I clean in anticipation of the housekeeper.

before ALL of that, before I’d ever gotten out of bed, while the beetle was still in pieces beneath me (AAAAAAAH) I had already read three things:

  1. a text from my mother asking why my daughters “dumped (her)” – they left a group chat that she put them in with my sister, nephew, uncle and myself. They didn’t ask to be put there but she was spending 2 weeks in Disney when she did it so I think they thought it was a way to share her Disney experiences, which, you know, we are ALL about. Yesterday out of the blue she sent us this text: “M is reading a book about Trump and he has a weekly Bible study at the White House. Soooo perfect! I can trust anyone who wants to serve God!!! You can too.”  — OF COURSE I FUCKING RESPONDED!  I have avoided having this conversation with her for two years, I never wanted to have it. But now it’s out there, and so I had to ask the question that burns in my throat whenever a “Christian” talks about their president.texttomom


  2. the first thing on my Facebook feed this morning – super appropriate to thing 1 on today’s list. This piece about Religious Trauma Syndrome which explains my life from 7 when I was praying I would be a martyr because I knew I was already an undeserving sinner and there didn’t seem like ANY other way into heaven.  Until the day my youngest daughter asked me about this statue at Epcot (everything happens at Disney) in the Germany pavilion where St. George is slaying a dragon. I said “that’s Saint George, he’s killing a drago….” and that was it. I wasn’t taught that that dragon was a metaphor, I was taught it was an ACTUAL DRAGON. And I believed it. So my 20s were especially fraught as I tried to figure out who I was and what I believed and where, as a loud, smart, independent but married, woman, and mother, my place in the world could be.  So that was the second thing I read today.



  3. the third thing I read today is about beer. (<<<read that, it’s very interesting, a little frustrating, but good)  and also ‘men’s rights activists’ because if there’s anything men in this country are lacking, it is equality. amirite. I’m not a giant beer drinker – I like red ales and Kolsch and lagers and pilsners. though plenty of guys have told me that Kolsch isn’t actually beer, that real beer tastes like carbonated stomach bile – like the acid you use to strip your car battery. No thank you. not for me. but some people are into IPAs and porters and stouts and that’s cool, more power to you sister. So in LA, Ting Su, cofounder of Eagle Rock Brewery started a Women’s Only Beer Forum, to help the ladies explore their beer love. Like a wine class, which apparently we can have endless numbers of, but for beer. which is obviously only for the mens.  Anyways, Ting Su started this super-sexist-against-poor-men-who-don’t-get-to-do-anything group and got sued, by a professional plaintiff, and now she’s defending herself. And there’s a Go Fund Me.

    I want to go there and drink these! talk about GREAT packaging design. Also the word Manifesto is something I hold near and dear going way back to the early days of the Patriot Act. But there’s a conversation to be had here about beer, and equality and safe spaces and douchebros who can’t even pay for sex.

Which brings us back to Trump. (kidding) it brings me to 10:15 AM and I need to put my sheets in the dryer.

 

Prost, xoxo

(so much rambling about a suitcase)

my dad loves convenience stores, his dad did too. They’re open on holidays, some are open 24 hours, they all have news papers and Life Savers and their milk and bread are usually delivered more frequently than they are to the grocery store. Our milk ALWAYS came from the convenience store. I also love them, because I love fountain soda – and other than McDonalds, 7-11 usually has the BEST fountain soda. also I love snacks.

when I was a kid he’d tell me I could have candy if I could decide *right now* so sometimes I didn’t get candy because I’M THE WORST AT DECISIONS. Also, I love him, but patience isn’t a thing he’s known for. I get that from him too. I go from zero to WHAT THE FORK?!!!  in 6 seconds or less.  My lack of decisiveness isn’t Chidi level bad but I’m constantly second guessing myself. Anyways. I want an Away Suitcase (I love shit that gets hyped on instagram, and so far have not been led astray) Annnnnyways (again) They have these collaborations that sell out SO FAST and I want one of those but the next day they’re gone. So I have to decide that I 245 dollars love something split second and that is hard for me. I don’t think I 245 dollars love anything at first sight. But their genius marketing requires that kind of decision making which works in direct opposition to my anxiety.

I have spent HOURS researching what people say about them, does the Bigger Carry-on fit in a JetBlue overhead bin? (seems to) Does the battery actually charge 5x? (seems to) Do they actually fit all that much? (seem to) Am I going to be one of those people dragging a suitcase with a broken wheel? (seems not)

and during that time collaborations have come and gone. The one I’m saddest about I didn’t even KNOW about before it had already sold out. Endor (the green one) was MADE FOR ME. #returnofthejedi4lyfe

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 11.43.47 AM
fricking Star Wars Collab – ugh.

they have nine solid every day colors, but… eh? They did a collaboration with Dwayne Wade that included a WINE SUITCASE. Do I need that? no, I wouldn’t have bought it, but I DID like the Bigger Carryon in two tones of blue with a cool liner.

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 11.41.08 AM
sold out in a day. I put it in a shopping cart and everything (not this exact one, this is the wine suitcase) but I was in an airport so I figured I’d wait until I got home by which time… gonzo.

they even did a Minions collaboration! Would I have bought a 245 dollar thing to troll my children with? Probably not. But maybe… but probably not.

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 11.38.29 AM
hilarious

Rashida Jones did a collaboration. Her colors were good. That one happened before I realized that I wanted one…

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 11.40.13 AM
I dig the salmon color and the purple.

Which leads me to Violet. Violet released yesterday and is still available today! So now, like a jackass, I’m going to “zen of shopping” it and say… if it’s still available tomorrow I’ll get it. Which I probably won’t, because 245 seems like A LOT to spend…

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 12.23.50 PM
I think I love it, but do I love it because it is new and limited and purple reminds me of my grandmother? those actually seem like perfectly good reasons to love it.

and around.

and around.

and around.

xoxo