Ok I don’t have a vision board but if I did *Live Near Disney* would be on there, just after *pay for the kids’ college* and *write a book*.
I got distracted by a Johnny Was dress. If I could be a style of clothing it would be whatever Johnny Was is. Lots of black with very interesting and beautiful details in brilliant colors- usually embroidered. Anyways- this is the dress.
I went so far as to put it in a shopping cart. Then I closed the window because who am I kidding?
Then I went to Facebook where it showed up in my sponsored advertising. Thanks for that.
And the next thing I saw was this cake from Hollywood Studios which is turning 30 today. And I thought, if I lived there I could go eat this today. (That was my favorite part of the 5 weeks I spent there this winter- the instant gratification was spectacular.)
And then (all of this happened in about 7 minutes.) I took that awesome dress out of the shopping cart and took another 15 things out of my closet to put on poshmark.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve been working on a poshmark tutorial for you, it is coming. I am easily distracted, and lately have been incredibly anxious. Like Xanax & cbd chocolates at the same time, anxious.
In related news- I think I need a vision board.
What would you put on yours? Do you already have one? Teach me your ways.
I’m waiting to hear if there’s a cement truck stuck in the mud of my backyard. We’ve had SO MUCH RAIN and they’re going to pour the cement pad for my studio today – and then the studio gets delivered tomorrow. And as of lunchtime, today has EASILY been three days long, with the first of those two days occurring between 7:28 and 9:30am. My right eye won’t stop twitching, which makes me think I need: 1. to relax because this isn’t my circus anymore. and 2. botox, because we all know I’m not going to stop stressing out, so the next best thing is just to paralyze those bitches into submission.
I’m reading A Simple Favor, which I’m enjoying immensely even if the narrator is a HOT MESS. It is one of those “domestic thrillers” where no character is particularly likable. Our unreliable narrator is a blogger and a wannabe-super-mom who needs a lot of outside approval and I pretty much hate her and her blog and her writing style and I want to punch her in the face. So if you find yourself wanting to punch ME in the face you should tell me. I’m not likely to change my writing style though- this disjointed addiction to terrible grammar, loose capitalization, and incomplete sentences has been carefully honed over 40 years of desperately ignoring English teachers and refusing to diagram a single sentence correctly. Tense! Structure! Run-on! all the red pencil markings.
So today I’m calming my tits in my newest Thirdlove bra – I fricking love these bras. The lining is just squishy enough to keep things smooth, the straps are comfortable, they’re supportive, they wash well and they’re pretty. I have a few of them. (or 6, I have 6) The commercials all talk about how women are racing home after work to take their bras off – this is not true in my case. I’m a bra wearer. I like them, I want the girls supported at all times. Those cami tanks with the built in shelf bra? I love those for sleeping. Everything’s gotta be strapped in or I’m going to be cranky and then I’m going to sleep like shit and then EVERYONE will be cranky. I’ll make sure of it.
HOLY MOTHER FORKING SHIRT BALLS, y’all. The Good Place is back next Thursday! (the 27th) Eleanor Shellstrop is one of my favorite fictional humans ever. She’s so terrible and flawed and funny and I really want her to get her shirt figured right the heck out. The first 2 seasons are available to watch on Netflix. The episodes are short- it’s a sitcom- they’re like 17 minutes of pure distilled 100 proof joy. The cast is outstanding, the storyline is stupid and wonderful and I love it.
Watching this show makes me feel better, it’s like a mini vacation from the worlds ugly bullshirt.
Big girl pants! I’m in the dress version of Mickey Mouse right now – black and white polka dots with a scalloped v-neckline, red Tieks and a bright yellow necklace from Manic Trout. I love this whole outfit, it is fun. But most days lately I want to wear a pair of Wit & Wisdom AbSolution pants with a t-shirt (from Universal Standard), blazer and my Rothy’s. These pants are RIDICULOUS.
I know I’ve talked about these before – I’ve gotten a couple of pairs in my Trunk Club Trunks.
We aren’t allowed to wear jeans in the office but these pants are cut like jeans, and feel like the most comfortable pair of jeans- I love them. They’re even comfortable for road trips and flights and I might have worn the same pair of black ones every day last week. (I washed them, but only because I absolutely had to.)
Then this weekend I discovered that I own two pairs of the black ones, I’ve got at least 3 of the white, a pair of olive, some camo… I like finding them on Poshmark for WAY less than they sell for at Nordstrom. You’re using Poshmark, right?
Here’s hoping the 2nd half of this day is only three hours long, and not several more days. I need Friday.
I’ve been sick all week with a cold that doesn’t want to go away. I’m not ready for the Hygge posts yet but I’m feeling a little pre-winter hygge happening right now because all I want to do is read and sleep and hang out with Dave watching Great British Bake Off. #MaryBerryForever
Rothy’s! (yup, it’s a referral link, you get $20 off your first order, I get $20 off my next order. and there WILL be a next order!) shoes. I know. I’m a crazy person for shoes but my feet are giving me SO MUCH TROUBLE so I’m on a constant quest for the best, cutest, most comfortable shoes to unsquish my toes.
These shoes are THE SHIT. They’re made of recycled water bottles, they’re incredibly comfortable – like really really comfortable- the footbed feels way squishier than it should, they flex in all the right ways, they hug my feet without feeling tight. They’re made of recycled water bottles! I know I already said that.
These are going to replace my Tieks. I said it and I’m not sorry. I have 2 pairs of the ‘loafer’ style so far – these black ones and some leopard spot ones because leopard print is my favorite neutral. I went up a 1/2 size in them. Everyone says they’re true to size. Maybe I’ve been wearing the wrong size shoe this whole time?
They released a vans-style slip on sneaker today… I got some red ones. I have no chill when it comes to having comfortable feet! No chill at all. I mentioned these are made of recycled water bottles, right? They’re also machine washable. I haven’t had them long enough to need to wash them but I hear good things as long as you don’t put them in the dryer.
They are expensive. I think they are worth it.
Fricking Starbucks Pumpkin Scones. Before Pumpkin Spice became such a thing Pumpkin scones were widely available throughout the year. Now there’s a whole calendar for them. (Do they still make maple scones? I used to love those too…)
Last year there was a shortage. I think I managed to get one all season and then they were gone. So this year I’m kind of a scone hoarder. It isn’t unusual for me to buy two at a time. There might be one in my purse right now. I have no regrets. They are delicious with a grande hot soy chai tea latte. (my Starbucks jam.)
They are much much less than a pair of Rothy’s. You should have one tomorrow.
Period Panties. Fuckin’a I’mma talk about underwear right now. I found these on Kickstarter. (I love Kickstarter for bringing me these, and Exploding Kittens, and my Heart and Brain plushes.)
Many humans who experience periods also experience bloating and general misery and a desire to be as comfortable as possible. Enter sweats, granny panties and braletes. Exit granny panties because HELLO period panties. These are comfortable, irreverent, hilarious and they check a number of nerdy boxes. The boyshorts are my favorites but they’re all awesome and you won’t be disappointed. I also love anything that normalizes this natural part of life that I was raised to not ever ever talk about. ever.
Shark Week. so good.
Speaking of things that are awesome. I have a grownup birthday party this weekend. I really really wanted to get her a badass Nerf gun. Everyone needs at least one, right?
So I was reading this piece written by author Amy Stewart about packing to go on a book tour. It’s smart and useful advice that I never really considered.
I like her method and I’m a notorious over packer and this wouldn’t necessarily work for Disney because — glitter and color and princesses and sweat, but it could work for going down to Austin for a foodie weekend, or to Tampa for a foodie weekend or over to Nantucket for a foodie… ok. I like to go eat places.
Anyways- I’m reading her piece fully prepared to just buy all the things she has in her suitcase- the stuff on the Brass website is cute and simple and perfect for the 45 minutes per year that I think I want a capsule wardrobe. But XL is the largest size they have and XL is a 12/14. And as a 14 I don’t trust it- the model who wears the LG on their website is an 8 maybe. What the hell, man?! Why you gotta be so size exclusive? More women come in sizes 14 and up than in 12 and down. And we want capsule wardrobes and chill dresses with pockets and sleek work blouses made of natural fibers that have intact shoulders and come in neutral colors. (Shocking that sometimes we might not want rayon cold shoulder blouses in fuchsia zebra print, I know.)
Ann Taylor Loft started selling clothes in 16 and up this week, IN STORES! Which is the real test – you want to take money from fat women but don’t want us seen in your stores? (Madewell- looking at you here. “extended sizing available online!” gak.)
Selling clothes for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN shouldn’t make you feel like you’re doing us a favor, taking our cash shouldn’t be this hard, and it CERTAINLY should be seen as an act of charity.
this is just a series of incomplete thoughts, I know. I’m just feeling really ragey and disappointed.
you guys. I bought myself a pair of metallic combat boots a couple of weeks ago. my inner 90’s girl ha-a-a-a-d to have them. and they arrived, and they are perfect. but I’m 42 and my day is different than it was at 18 so I don’t necessarily want to style them the same way I would have in 1994. (I still will, just not everyday.)
then I remember the fabulous Courtney, my magical Trunk Club stylist. so I email her a link to the boots and tell her I need oversized light grey v-necked sweaters that I’ll wear with skinny jeans * I might wear WHITE skinny jeans with them. #edgy * (the rules about white after labor day are outdated and elitist) and I’m just thinking that when my next trunk comes in October she will send me some options to try.
NOT SO FAST. I get an email from her this morning with these photos and a suggestion that she’s also going to send some navy sweaters to “tone down the punk” 😀
so my boots are essentially getting their own trunk. they’ll all be here some time next week for me to try on. I’ve never felt so fancy. look how sneaky she is sending me something pink. I kinda love it.
and I’m not saying that I want Summer to ever end- but when it does I’m going to be ready.
We moved our oldest into her dorm yesterday. And on Thursday our youngest starts her senior year of high school. I should never shop again with the tuition payments I have to look forward to but I pretty much bought the internet last week – so this week I’m not buying anything.
But if I were, here’s what I’d get:
I have these boots in black suede from last year and I think I wore them 3 days a week. From my maternal grandmother I inherited the calves of a professional soccer player, she loved her giant calves, I struggle with feelings about my own but I’m trying- they work hard and let me walk super fast. But they make it hard to find boots, I’d rather shop for a bathing suit than a pair of boots. I get sweaty and cranky. So I usually wear ankle boots. But the Calypso boot changed all that. Look at that stretchy back panel – I love these so much! And this year they’re in leather! I need them.
Just not today. (I did put them into a shopping cart on Friday though, and have gotten a couple of emails from Sole Society with coupons to get me to pull the trigger. We are at 15% right now, it gets to 20% I might not be able to control myself…)
Having a fight or flight reaction that leads to lots of shopping AND the mass ingestion of Haribo Berries – is not doing my wallet or my blood sugar any favors.
But speaking of eating my feelings, I would also have bought myself a couple of boxes of See’s Vanilla Chocolate Chip chocolates. “but Erin, they’re only 5.99” you’re adorable, I’d get at least 2, and while I was there I’d probably put together a custom 2 pound box. and did you know that you can buy bags of baking chocolate chips? because you can. And just like that…
…I’ve spent 115$ on chocolates.
The end of summer is an inevitability. Boots and cute jackets make the 45 minutes that is the Fall season much easier to accept. HOW CUTE IS THIS JACKET from Torrid?! I love it. And on sale. And faux leather, so when fall gets rainy (like it does) or snowy (because New England) you can wear it without worrying that you’re going to turn into your very own Seinfeld episode.
Yesterday I got an email from Universal Standard (yep, that’s a referral link) to tell me they’d launched a few new dresses that have my damn name ALL OVER THEM. I really really want this dress.
Because HELLO perfect perfect dress. Which at $80 is 1/3 the price of similar Eileen Fisher dresses.
There were more things, I put at least three other things in shopping carts across the internet today, but I don’t remember any of them, so I’m glad I didn’t actually get them!
Two things I DID buy though – I got a copy of Still Lives by Maria Hummel which I am very excited to read. I’m usually anti book-club-books because of the Cult of Oprah and her books all being ‘tragic stories of the triumph of the human spirit’. NO. get away from me with that. But the books that Reece Witherspoon has been scooping up to turn into movies and shows have been awesome. So I’m giving this one a shot. I’ve been ALL ABOUT books written by women, and thrillers. So you should read it with me and we can talk about it later. But not like a book-club because my brain will turn the read into homework.
And I also bought a digital copy of Oceans 8. Because of Cate Blanchett’s wardrobe. And Awkwafina. and my deep abiding love for Sandra Bullock movies. And the whole cast is flawless. I enjoyed it very much. It got shit reviews and yeah, I’m going to say that a great deal of that is just bullshit sexism. So watch it, it’ll be fun.
There was this piece in the Boston Globe last night about how we need to rebrand Middle Age for the generation who started calling Meditation – Mindfulness.
I turned 42 last week and now I have a bunion forming on my left foot. It hurt for the first time yesterday. There could be a whole post here about how my feet have always been my favorite feature and how I’m freaking out about losing my one physically attractive bit but that’s some shit I need to work through. My feet are still cute as heck but the rest of me isn’t bad either.
To mitigate the damage, however, I spent some time last weekend starting to edit my closet. Especially deleting uncomfortable heels. (You can have my Franco Sarto wedges when you pry them off my cold dead feet, but I’m setting the Rachel Roy studded snakeskin stilettos loose on Poshmark soon.)
I don’t want my forties and fifties – my sixties- let’s be honest – any age ever, to be wished away in longing for my twenties and thirties. I want to understand and appreciate this age for what it is. And in the same way that people enthusiastically took back “fat” or “queer” or even the conversation about mental illness – reclaiming the power of those words for ourselves – maybe it is time to do the same for “middle aged”. Or as Lisa Nagel in the Globe article calls it “mid-century modern”.
Women age, and we are told that as we age we become less valuable, less interesting, less desirable. We should be grateful for being given jobs, for being given attention, we should be quiet, motherly, soft, or we should be doing everything we can possibly do to pretend we are 10 years younger, suffering to be something else. Fuck. That. Noise. I do what I want. “Anti-Aging” is a trap – we are supposed to be panicking that someone younger is going to come along and replace us. We are supposed to put up with a stagnant job because we are lucky to get what we get.
There was an awesome piece in the New York Times last year by Ashton Applewhite about the BS “Anti-Aging Demon” and the way we disempower ourselves and each other when we compete viciously in a game where we aren’t even willing participants.
Appearance matters. Adornment pleases. But society’s obsession with the way women look is less about beauty than about obedience to a punishing external standard — and power. When women compete to “stay young,” we collude in our own disempowerment. When we rank other women by age, we reinforce ageism, sexism, lookism and patriarchy. What else we can we all agree on? This is one bad bargain. It sets us up to fail. It pits us against one another. It’s why the poorest of the poor, around the world, are old women of color.
Much in the same way that rich white men make billions of dollars a year on our dissatisfaction with our weight, other rich white men make billions of dollars a year on our dissatisfaction with our age. Overturning those apple carts would be really satisfying.
I am just barely scratching at the surface of what should be a daily conversation. So get ready – there will be a lot more of this. In the meantime I’m following Ashton Applewhite’s Facebook page: This Chair Rocks. Join me!
I have been in Disney World- Traveling My Feelings with a large side of Eating My Feelings- and celebrating my birthday. When things at work get crazy, or when I’m sad, or I’m happy enough to be experiencing a break in the clouds of depression that makes me want to DO ANYTHING… I plan Disney weekends. It gets me out of my head, it gives me something to focus on and to get ready for. Making dining reservations and fastpass+ ride plans is a concrete step forward while giving me something bigger to look forward to. Plus it is really fricking fun.
And there’s packing. I start packing in my head and on paper weeks before I go. I have an entire Disney wardrobe- clothing I would never wear during my day to day in Massachusetts where I have always worn black, even in summertime. (I’m working on that right now but that’ll be another blog post for another day.) The quest for the perfect park shoe is never ending- if you have a suggestion I’m open to hearing it! I’ve found that my old school Fit Flops work the best. Skechers GoWalk sneakers with the yoga mat soles are also awesome, but the INSTANT my feet get sweaty it is all over for me, so I can’t wear things that require socks. Your mileage may vary on that.
In the photo at the top of this I’m wearing a LulaRoe Carly dress, I think it is a size Small, which cracks me up every time- I wear Small and Medium in that style interchangeably and find them to be some of the best park dresses I’ve got. My shoulders are protected from the sunburn I would otherwise get and it is a swing style, giving me lots of room for Mickey Waffles and Dole Whips. I’m also crazy about the bag I’m wearing – it is a Kavu sling bag that I got from Amazon and I will never go back to another style bag for the parks. The Kavu fits 3-4 of the thicker Disney ponchos, a bottle of water, phone, a cord and a fuel rod. Plus the other little necessities of the day- sunglasses, cool towel, advil, sunscreen… they’re also cute and easy for security to look through as I enter the park. So. A Kavu Bag. The way to go for sure. I have the Black Topo style but see Space Pop in my future! (the link to Amazon is an affiliate link- if you buy it- and you should!- I’ll make a tiny bit which I’ll put towards my next one.)
Disney trip planning gives me an excuse to do all of the things I love all at once – shopping, list-making, thinking about food… and the payoff is a trip to a place I love with people I love.
One night at the end of January 2016 I was scrolling instagram because insomnia had woken me up- and what else do you do at 2am when you’re wide awake and can’t find your book?
I came across a photo of a gorgeous plus size blogger in a blazer and vest. a BUTTON UP vest. and it fit her. I instantly tracked down the company behind that piece and ordered it. The Garamond Vested Blazer was my first piece of Universal Standard clothing.
There is something magical about clothing that is interesting, fashionable, cool and incredibly well made while also fitting bodies that don’t usually have access to clothing that checks every one of those boxes. (Without a single cold shoulder or garish polyester muumuu blouse to be found! Love you Torrid, but understated and grownup are good sometimes too!)
Since 2016 I have integrated many articles of Universal Standard clothing into my wardrobe, these are quality pieces, capsule wardrobe worthy, the softest t-shirts you’ll ever realize are TOTALLY worth their 50.00 price tag. I would sleep in them if I weren’t trying to make them last for as long as possible.
I think my favorite item is the Geneva Dress, it is a giant t-shirt with an asymmetrical hem and a neckline that provides the perfect backdrop for my biggest statement necklaces. It dresses up easily and it is my favorite thing to travel in- last month I ordered a backup – it is that good.
Their jeans have pockets so deep you could lose your keys in them, most jeans you can’t even PUT your keys in the pockets.
While it was fun for a minute to be able to tell my smaller friends that Universal Standard started at a size 10, what is more fun is telling you that as of this week Universal Standard is available in sizes 6-32 with a goal of being available soon in sizes 0-40. Because what is the fun in calling your brand Universal if it isn’t?
The link is a referral and if you make a purchase they give me a discount off of my next purchase – Universal Standard almost never offers discounts – however! if you sign up for emails they send out codes for free t-shirts once or twice a year.