Despite my firm “not shopping” stance I have ordered 5 different undergarments to science out the whole Disney Parks Swampass situation when I’m there later this month.
So far I’ve ordered a pair of Knix, a pair of Thinx, a pair of Cooling ThighSociety shorts, a pair of UnderSummers and a pair of Drirelease TomboyX boxers, I’ve also ordered a pair of bandlettes for the non-undershorts times.
Knix and Thinx are technically period panties but I’m operating under ‘liquid is liquid’ an if it absorbs blood it should absorb sweat, right?
“But Erin” you say “you’re only going to have 3 park days!”
Yup, but (and since we are really oversharing right now) I usually change clothes halfway through the day because I’m a SWEATY BITCH and I like to be comfortable.
I will also be in Austin and Lubbock Texas, so I’ll try stuff out there as well.
SO. what else should I be trying? I prefer shorts since I like wearing skirts and dresses at Disney for air-flow but I’m willing to try non-shorts as well.
I feel like I should add a couple more Disney days… 😂
I’m not the only one with crotch temperature on the brain. The Bloggess is also tackling the science… Read it! (The science of crotches)
sometimes it feels like I’m Columbusing these picks…. I mean, people know this shiz is awesome, that’s why it is available, but *I* didn’t always know this shiz was awesome – so enjoy these brand new discoveries which I will name and personally take credit for.
TomboyX boxers. Gender neutral boxers in outstanding patterns and GREAT fabric. I bought a pair of these on clearance after halloween to wear under skirts at Disney – because if I can’t wear jeans I definitely prefer skirts or dresses and with my… shapely… thighs I need some friction protection. Normally this takes the form of Jockeys Skimmies which are pretty damn magical but I… and here you learn more about me than anyone needs to… I’m sweaty and I’m a bit of a prude who went to all girls school so I can’t wear skimmies without wearing underwear under them so there’s 2 layers under my skirt and twice the chance to get really forking sweaty.
annnnnyways. boxers. these are now my go-to under skirts and I managed to get a day in Disney in May while I was wearing these and they worked pretty great! I was still sweaty but I didn’t feel as gross. (moments ago I ordered a pair of Knix, I’m going to try those in the park next month, I could literally have an entire blog about Disney swampass avoidance techniques)
Yesterday I also ordered a pair of TomboyX drirelease performance boxers because I’m desperate. look for the update on those in the swampass blog sometime in August. lucky you.
also- I’m a big girl AND (I had originally written “but” here, as if big girls can’t have good asses, when of course we do!) I’ve got a pretty good booty and it looks BOMB in these. new favorite pjs. and the sizes they stock! they go up to 4X. amazing and inclusive. I love them. you will also.
use this link to get $20 off your first $70 purchase (which would make it a $50 purchase…)
I normally use Rodan & Fields for my skincare routine but while I was in Florida in January I took my oldest to Sephora to replace her face wash and she got this First Aid Beauty Skin Rescue red clay cleanser and it is amazing. I had to go back to buy myself one and I’m on my second replacement tube of it right now. So so good. Not drying but definitely feels clean when I’m done, smells really good, I love it. And it is available from Amazon, and also from Sephora, who has a great return policy.
and, while we are talking about products I’ve had for a while and only started using recently (like the boxers…) I’ve started using The Ordinary’s Peeling Solution and this stuff is LEGIT. I use it twice a week and can immediately feel and see a difference in the glow and texture of my skin. 10 minutes 2x a week, I’ve only been using it for 3 weeks but I’m liking what I’m seeing so far. Also I love spending those 10 minutes looking like I’ve just had one of those Kardashian vampire facials but with acid, and without the possibility for deadly blood borne diseases. win win. The peel is much cheaper at Sephora unless you have to pay for shipping – also if you can place an 8.00 Sephora order let me know – I have never seen such a feat.
go get that glow on.
being hydrated. my youngest is going to college next year. I thought it was hard sending my oldest to vermont, but now my baby is going to texas and I’m going to miss them both so damn much. so I’m crying a lot. and it’s leaving me straight up dehydrated. like, waking up after not drinking feeling hungover, dehydrated.
which is where water comes in. seriously. #3 is water. we have one of those water coolers in the kitchen with the 5 gallon bottles – and the water IN the bottles comes from a spring maybe 1500 yards from our house sitting beneath the oldest bottling plant in the US (Simpson Spring) and it is delicious.
though this is not about water – this is about the GREATEST WATER BOTTLE IN THE WORLD. (in my opinion) I filled it with ice yesterday morning and it is still full of ice this morning. I got it last fall when I was finally able to see Hamilton and have used it every day since then. it was FIFTY DOLLARS which is dumb stupid for a water bottle – or I thought it was – but I love a theater Merch Bar (<–you can buy it at that link if you want the Hamilton version!) and I know I’m not wearing all the t-shirts I’ve bought so I switched it up with the water bottle.
If you don’t want to spend $50 on a water bottle (and honestly, who does?) the non-Hamilton versions of this bottle are very frequently for sale for $25 – $30 on the S’well website. The sale items vary by season, there are some really cool ones right now, I keep wanting to buy another but I HAVE ONE, they’re indestructible, I’m not going to need another one ever.
I travel with this – which is funny EVERY time I’m in the airport security line as I’m chugging 17 ounces of cold water – but that means it is also my Disney Parks water bottle and in the sun the bottle itself gets quite warm but the contents are always cold. maybe I should get a parks bottle that isn’t black… 😁
and if you use ebates (soon to become Rakuten) please tell me you use ebates! if not sign up here (<–click on that) and we both get a bonus! The cash back bonus for s’well is 3% which is not too shabby!
anyhow – there are my three favorites for Spring/Summer 2019 – poor little abandoned blog.
I am entering my third month without a salary – which is FINE – which is something I prepared for – which is something I signed up for – BUT. I’m still freaking the fork out pretty much 24/7. So that, combined with Marie Kondo, blah blah blah. I’ve never watched an episode of the show, I’ve never read a page of the book, but I DID stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night, AND, I watched a video on how to fold t-shirts, so I feel like I’m an expert.
Let’s get started.
I am a big big fan of purging things. I might like getting rid of things more than I like getting new things, which is good because my house and my anxiety are at peak shirt right now. also peak shit.
which brings us to Poshmark. which was once a place where I looked for 90’s tennis sweaters (don’t judge me, those things were hella cute.) but is now a place where I sell all of the shirt that doesn’t spark forking joy. every morning after I wake up I put a couple of things in my “closet”. it makes me feel as if I’m accomplishing something, and it is an excellent reminder each day to STOP BRINGING THINGS INTO THE HOUSE OHMYGODERINJUSTSTOP. Plus I’ve sold some stuff so… ka-ching. (here’s the link to my closet!)
and let’s be real fricking honest, I need that reminder because acquiring things is so fun. I need a hobby. I have a hobby. I need to get to work. I should have some plans and some direction in that regard by the end of next week.
I have to buckle down, and start busting my ass to become the person who has a very successful business and a great condo with a pool in Florida. I can see her, she DOESN’T SHOP UNLESS SHE NEEDS A THING. (I don’t make new year’s resolutions, but if I did, that would be a good one.)
She did, however, order herself some CBD oil because she needed that shit. Currently I’ve got a tin of Bang Bang Chocolate CBD Dream Drops and I LOVE those, they are hecking awesome. You should get some, you won’t regret it at all. Hotel San Jose in Austin has them as part of their mini-bar. One day I want to be as cool as that mini-bar. But, I am not going to walk around with a tin of chocolate in my purse all the time (which feels funny to say, because why the heck not?!) so I ordered some oil. We’ll see. I’m optimistic and trying not to use xanax as a regular crutch. so I’m getting a new regular crutch, duh! I can only work on like 17 things at a time, and getting to the root of my anxiety and finally dealing with it will have to wait.
so that’s where I am on this snowy monday. do you use poshmark? link your closet so we can promote one another!
turns out that not working hasn’t cured my anxiety. I didn’t think it would, I don’t have a paycheck right now and that’s stressful, I have a massive trade show to go to next week and THAT is stressful, I don’t have business cards, my company isn’t actually incorporated yet, I didn’t bring businessy clothes with me on this trip…
I napped for a solid 4 hours today but since I woke up my watch has told me to start concentrating on my breathing at least three times.
coloring for stress relief seems like a good idea until I sit down with my tin of sharpened pencils and my very elaborate coloring book patterns. then I remember that a giant part of my anxiety is DEFINITELY related to decision fatigue and having to choose colors, and a pattern, and making sure I don’t screw up the pattern or make sure that the colors that will eventually meet up aren’t going to clash or be too close or, or, or… does anyone want any coloring books? because I have a few I will NEVER use.
enter Facebook targeted advertising.
magic fricking scratch-off art. it’s like color by number but by subtraction. and it is calming and therapeutic as heck. my oldest daughter and I took a road trip last week and I brought two of these sets and every night we worked on one for about an hour before bed and it was everything you want in a mindless activity without any potential frustration. losing puzzle pieces? no. decided on burnt sienna only to realize that your mandala looks like a mustard spill? no. lost your scissors? realized you don’t know how to cross stitch? keep stabbing yourself with a needle? threw away the cord for your sewing machine? artistic collage ransom notes frowned upon? never learned how to make friendship bracelets?
caveat – it does make a little bit of a black speckly mess but a clorox wipe and a paper towel and you’re good to go.
unrelated to the scratching art – but certainly related to the anxiety… I wrote SO MANY THINGS during my last week or two of work- (they threw me a taco party! I wore jeans every day!) but never posted any of them – it was a tough couple of weeks for me. I loved that job and those coworkers and that company. I had been prepared to make that job the rest of my working life and very quickly with little time to adjust, that entire plan was changed. so now I’m scratching my way to Plan B. literally, figuratively, emotionally… like the hot mess I am. but for now I’m hiding out regrouping in my villains lair. -which is actually a great little townhouse in central Florida with my own tiny pool- I’ll tell you more about it next time.
in the meantime I’m going to question the life choices which led me to decide against buying a couple of bottles of wine while I was at Target earlier today. their target has a straight up liquor store in it! never mind wine – I could be having a vodka tonic right now.
It’s weird to get to a place where you don’t want anything. but I don’t. I don’t want a single thing. I have EVERYTHING I need. I have MORE THAN I NEED. I am getting rid of things at a steady pace.
part of the particular nature/nurture strain of anxiety/depression that I inherited from my father leads to purging. I try to be very conscious of what I get rid of because I want to make sure I have art my kids made in kindergarten, or baby photos, or my husband’s letterman jacket. dad was a reckless purger so there are things from my childhood that I would have preferred to not end up in a dumpster while I was in college… like anything from my childhood. Ten points to the X-ers in charge of our entertainment, because I can at least have NEW things of whatever things I don’t have from my childhood. Jem? Good Luck Bear? A Vintage style My Little Pony? A fricking Zoom birthday record?! They exist again and I could have all of those things.
but I don’t want them.
so right, while the holidays approach, and Winter is Coming, and I really want to start getting my house renovated, and things are happening in my professional life that I can’t/haven’t told everyone about yet… I’m fucking stressed out. I’m also really fucking depressed. I said that out loud to myself in the car the other day. “I am really fucking depressed” and the moment of acknowledging my feelings for what they are… it helped. I mean, Wellbutrin helps more, but recognition is important.
and I need to get a dumpster which currently has me REALLY worried because I do want to get rid of every.fucking.thing. in my house.
I speak only for myself and my own experiences with depression but if I had to make a list of things I “want” or “need” for Christmas right now they would include: socks, a throw blanket or four, a magically clean kitchen and front hallway unaccompanied by the sounds of angry cleaning, new toss pillows for the couch, cake, dark curtains in my bedroom for naps, naps, for my house to smell like a Christmas tree, candles in every room, having the dining room table completely clear… chocolate. See’s or Phillip’s Candy House especially. The soft ones with fruity creme centers. Or a trip to Disney. But mostly I need Hygge.
my dad loves convenience stores, his dad did too. They’re open on holidays, some are open 24 hours, they all have news papers and Life Savers and their milk and bread are usually delivered more frequently than they are to the grocery store. Our milk ALWAYS came from the convenience store. I also love them, because I love fountain soda – and other than McDonalds, 7-11 usually has the BEST fountain soda. also I love snacks.
when I was a kid he’d tell me I could have candy if I could decide *right now* so sometimes I didn’t get candy because I’M THE WORST AT DECISIONS. Also, I love him, but patience isn’t a thing he’s known for. I get that from him too. I go from zero to WHAT THE FORK?!!! in 6 seconds or less. My lack of decisiveness isn’t Chidi level bad but I’m constantly second guessing myself. Anyways. I want an Away Suitcase (I love shit that gets hyped on instagram, and so far have not been led astray) Annnnnyways (again) They have these collaborations that sell out SO FAST and I want one of those but the next day they’re gone. So I have to decide that I 245 dollars love something split second and that is hard for me. I don’t think I 245 dollars love anything at first sight. But their genius marketing requires that kind of decision making which works in direct opposition to my anxiety.
I have spent HOURS researching what people say about them, does the Bigger Carry-on fit in a JetBlue overhead bin? (seems to) Does the battery actually charge 5x? (seems to) Do they actually fit all that much? (seem to) Am I going to be one of those people dragging a suitcase with a broken wheel? (seems not)
and during that time collaborations have come and gone. The one I’m saddest about I didn’t even KNOW about before it had already sold out. Endor (the green one) was MADE FOR ME. #returnofthejedi4lyfe
they have nine solid every day colors, but… eh? They did a collaboration with Dwayne Wade that included a WINE SUITCASE. Do I need that? no, I wouldn’t have bought it, but I DID like the Bigger Carryon in two tones of blue with a cool liner.
they even did a Minions collaboration! Would I have bought a 245 dollar thing to troll my children with? Probably not. But maybe… but probably not.
Rashida Jones did a collaboration. Her colors were good. That one happened before I realized that I wanted one…
Which leads me to Violet. Violet released yesterday and is still available today! So now, like a jackass, I’m going to “zen of shopping” it and say… if it’s still available tomorrow I’ll get it. Which I probably won’t, because 245 seems like A LOT to spend…
My super talented and creative friend Laura Fisk of Fisk & Fern is THIS MINUTE creating a Breakfast Taco tea towel for you to add to your extensive tea towel collection. (I KNOW I’m not the only one with an extensive tea towel collection… right?) Anyways. When she releases it I’mma put it up here. So watch this space. And in the meantime here’s Queso and Margaritas. Which are the perfect bookends for tacos.
I love Austin, Texas. I belong there. Even through hundred degree summers I forking THRIVED in Austin. We are flying down tonight and I’m READY.
There are so many things that could be #3 on this Austincentric Favorites list. Obviously my friends. (but I count them in as just being Austin.) Pluckers, Jack Allen’s Kitchen, Deep Eddy Vodka… but this week it’s the reason why we are going to Austin.
Austin City Limits. Three days, drinking wine out of sports bottles in a field. Where my friends are. And also all this music, and usually sunshine, and beer, and the most ridiculous food. Right now it is looking like it could be overcast and rainy so I’mma need someone to get Dick Cheney to turn on his weather machine and fix that shirt.
I’m waiting to hear if there’s a cement truck stuck in the mud of my backyard. We’ve had SO MUCH RAIN and they’re going to pour the cement pad for my studio today – and then the studio gets delivered tomorrow. And as of lunchtime, today has EASILY been three days long, with the first of those two days occurring between 7:28 and 9:30am. My right eye won’t stop twitching, which makes me think I need: 1. to relax because this isn’t my circus anymore. and 2. botox, because we all know I’m not going to stop stressing out, so the next best thing is just to paralyze those bitches into submission.
I’m reading A Simple Favor, which I’m enjoying immensely even if the narrator is a HOT MESS. It is one of those “domestic thrillers” where no character is particularly likable. Our unreliable narrator is a blogger and a wannabe-super-mom who needs a lot of outside approval and I pretty much hate her and her blog and her writing style and I want to punch her in the face. So if you find yourself wanting to punch ME in the face you should tell me. I’m not likely to change my writing style though- this disjointed addiction to terrible grammar, loose capitalization, and incomplete sentences has been carefully honed over 40 years of desperately ignoring English teachers and refusing to diagram a single sentence correctly. Tense! Structure! Run-on! all the red pencil markings.
So today I’m calming my tits in my newest Thirdlove bra – I fricking love these bras. The lining is just squishy enough to keep things smooth, the straps are comfortable, they’re supportive, they wash well and they’re pretty. I have a few of them. (or 6, I have 6) The commercials all talk about how women are racing home after work to take their bras off – this is not true in my case. I’m a bra wearer. I like them, I want the girls supported at all times. Those cami tanks with the built in shelf bra? I love those for sleeping. Everything’s gotta be strapped in or I’m going to be cranky and then I’m going to sleep like shit and then EVERYONE will be cranky. I’ll make sure of it.
HOLY MOTHER FORKING SHIRT BALLS, y’all. The Good Place is back next Thursday! (the 27th) Eleanor Shellstrop is one of my favorite fictional humans ever. She’s so terrible and flawed and funny and I really want her to get her shirt figured right the heck out. The first 2 seasons are available to watch on Netflix. The episodes are short- it’s a sitcom- they’re like 17 minutes of pure distilled 100 proof joy. The cast is outstanding, the storyline is stupid and wonderful and I love it.
Watching this show makes me feel better, it’s like a mini vacation from the worlds ugly bullshirt.
Big girl pants! I’m in the dress version of Mickey Mouse right now – black and white polka dots with a scalloped v-neckline, red Tieks and a bright yellow necklace from Manic Trout. I love this whole outfit, it is fun. But most days lately I want to wear a pair of Wit & Wisdom AbSolution pants with a t-shirt (from Universal Standard), blazer and my Rothy’s. These pants are RIDICULOUS.
I know I’ve talked about these before – I’ve gotten a couple of pairs in my Trunk Club Trunks.
We aren’t allowed to wear jeans in the office but these pants are cut like jeans, and feel like the most comfortable pair of jeans- I love them. They’re even comfortable for road trips and flights and I might have worn the same pair of black ones every day last week. (I washed them, but only because I absolutely had to.)
Then this weekend I discovered that I own two pairs of the black ones, I’ve got at least 3 of the white, a pair of olive, some camo… I like finding them on Poshmark for WAY less than they sell for at Nordstrom. You’re using Poshmark, right?
Here’s hoping the 2nd half of this day is only three hours long, and not several more days. I need Friday.
I’ve been sick all week with a cold that doesn’t want to go away. I’m not ready for the Hygge posts yet but I’m feeling a little pre-winter hygge happening right now because all I want to do is read and sleep and hang out with Dave watching Great British Bake Off. #MaryBerryForever
Rothy’s! (yup, it’s a referral link, you get $20 off your first order, I get $20 off my next order. and there WILL be a next order!) shoes. I know. I’m a crazy person for shoes but my feet are giving me SO MUCH TROUBLE so I’m on a constant quest for the best, cutest, most comfortable shoes to unsquish my toes.
These shoes are THE SHIT. They’re made of recycled water bottles, they’re incredibly comfortable – like really really comfortable- the footbed feels way squishier than it should, they flex in all the right ways, they hug my feet without feeling tight. They’re made of recycled water bottles! I know I already said that.
These are going to replace my Tieks. I said it and I’m not sorry. I have 2 pairs of the ‘loafer’ style so far – these black ones and some leopard spot ones because leopard print is my favorite neutral. I went up a 1/2 size in them. Everyone says they’re true to size. Maybe I’ve been wearing the wrong size shoe this whole time?
They released a vans-style slip on sneaker today… I got some red ones. I have no chill when it comes to having comfortable feet! No chill at all. I mentioned these are made of recycled water bottles, right? They’re also machine washable. I haven’t had them long enough to need to wash them but I hear good things as long as you don’t put them in the dryer.
They are expensive. I think they are worth it.
Fricking Starbucks Pumpkin Scones. Before Pumpkin Spice became such a thing Pumpkin scones were widely available throughout the year. Now there’s a whole calendar for them. (Do they still make maple scones? I used to love those too…)
Last year there was a shortage. I think I managed to get one all season and then they were gone. So this year I’m kind of a scone hoarder. It isn’t unusual for me to buy two at a time. There might be one in my purse right now. I have no regrets. They are delicious with a grande hot soy chai tea latte. (my Starbucks jam.)
They are much much less than a pair of Rothy’s. You should have one tomorrow.
Period Panties. Fuckin’a I’mma talk about underwear right now. I found these on Kickstarter. (I love Kickstarter for bringing me these, and Exploding Kittens, and my Heart and Brain plushes.)
Many humans who experience periods also experience bloating and general misery and a desire to be as comfortable as possible. Enter sweats, granny panties and braletes. Exit granny panties because HELLO period panties. These are comfortable, irreverent, hilarious and they check a number of nerdy boxes. The boyshorts are my favorites but they’re all awesome and you won’t be disappointed. I also love anything that normalizes this natural part of life that I was raised to not ever ever talk about. ever.
Shark Week. so good.
Speaking of things that are awesome. I have a grownup birthday party this weekend. I really really wanted to get her a badass Nerf gun. Everyone needs at least one, right?
So I was reading this piece written by author Amy Stewart about packing to go on a book tour. It’s smart and useful advice that I never really considered.
I like her method and I’m a notorious over packer and this wouldn’t necessarily work for Disney because — glitter and color and princesses and sweat, but it could work for going down to Austin for a foodie weekend, or to Tampa for a foodie weekend or over to Nantucket for a foodie… ok. I like to go eat places.
Anyways- I’m reading her piece fully prepared to just buy all the things she has in her suitcase- the stuff on the Brass website is cute and simple and perfect for the 45 minutes per year that I think I want a capsule wardrobe. But XL is the largest size they have and XL is a 12/14. And as a 14 I don’t trust it- the model who wears the LG on their website is an 8 maybe. What the hell, man?! Why you gotta be so size exclusive? More women come in sizes 14 and up than in 12 and down. And we want capsule wardrobes and chill dresses with pockets and sleek work blouses made of natural fibers that have intact shoulders and come in neutral colors. (Shocking that sometimes we might not want rayon cold shoulder blouses in fuchsia zebra print, I know.)
Ann Taylor Loft started selling clothes in 16 and up this week, IN STORES! Which is the real test – you want to take money from fat women but don’t want us seen in your stores? (Madewell- looking at you here. “extended sizing available online!” gak.)
Selling clothes for EVERY SINGLE WOMAN shouldn’t make you feel like you’re doing us a favor, taking our cash shouldn’t be this hard, and it CERTAINLY should be seen as an act of charity.
this is just a series of incomplete thoughts, I know. I’m just feeling really ragey and disappointed.